Flat Lung

I worked out with my trainer again this morning. My breathing is a little better today. I feel like I have pumped more oxygen through my body. My face is actually getting pink again while I'm exercising. This has been a very rough road—the pain, the inability to catch my breath. I just want my health back. My lung will reinflate in time. Heavy aerobic exercise will help. 

It's raining here today. It's been raining all week. 

I wish I had something positive to say.

Another Day in Paradise

Turns out I still have pain under my rib because inside the lower lobe of my right lung, the little air sacs have collapsed. Another day in paradise--a friend of mine said that this morning. And I think it's most appropriate.

Getting Past Pneumonia

I did my aerobic workout today—30 minutes on an elliptical and about 25 minutes on the track. I don't really a  trainer for this so I let Cody off the hook. I just need someone to say, "Hey, I'm glad you made it in today" or "Hey, I missed you yesterday. What happened?" But I do need a trainer for the strength training. 

I was looking around the gym today. It has a lot more equipment than my old gym. But I think I can figure most of it out—sooner or later.

I feel like I'm getting past the pneumonia. But I still have a pain under my ribs. 

Took the girls to the zoo on Saturday. The place was packed. But we managed to have some fun. But my legs swelled bigger than they ever have in my life. They feel better today. I'm not sure why that happened other than the lack of aerobic exercise for so long. Maybe next time I'll take the little zoo train. 

Well, that's all for today folks.

I Don't Want to Give Up

Despite the pneumonia diagnosis and a full course of antibiotics, I'm still having pain in my right side—under my ribs—most especially after a fatty meal. And I'm still having gastrointestinal problems that I won't go into, but are really annoying. I've had moments where I've been doubled up on the bed and had to jump up and run to the bathroom. Anyway, I think I have more going on than pneumonia.

I have my girls this weekend. They want to go to the zoo. Sounds like fun to me—as long as I don't eat any fat. Who knows? Maybe this is a good thing, and I can get over my compulsive overeating just by being sick. I haven't lost any weight with this though. In fact, I'm swollen.

Been going to the gym twice a week up to this point. I want to get back to five days a week next week. I'll have two different personal trainers for the next two weeks and then summer school ends, so I won't have a trainer under the fall semester begins. But that'll be OK. At least I'll be more in the habit of getting up to go the gym. So I'll be on my own for a month. 

I just want to be healthy. I don't want to be one of those old women who just gives up. 

Free Personal Training

I'm finally back in the gym—new gym and a new routine. I'm going to the University's Student Rec Center and getting free personal training. What a great benefit. 

I feel OK today, despite having been sick for the last six months. With any luck this is a trend. I still have to have a chest x-ray sometime today. And I still have that odd feeling in my chest. But I'll get better one of these days.

I'm still working on the emotional eating. And I'm getting a little better at thinking before I eat. 

So that's it for today. Sorry I don't have much to say. 

OK Doughnut, Just Back Off

How many times have you said, "Food is the only pleasurable thing I have, so I'm not giving it up"? I've said that too many times to remember. What I'm really saying is that I refuse to look for any other option to relieve stress, boredom, anxiety. . .and whatever else I can think of. I'm in denial about my food addiction (i.e. I am not a cupcake addict. It's just that cupcakes make me feel good.) And so, as long as I allow it to happen, my addiction continues. 

That's right—as long as I allow it. The truth is that I do have control. I am not powerless. I am the one who makes to decision to eat the cupcake. The cupcake doesn't jump in my mouth. 

Have you ever been at work—just minding your business, doing your work—and someone brings in some doughnuts? You weren't even thinking about doughnuts, but now there they are with all of their delicious sprinkles and frostings. You can't stop thinking about them. You make a number of excuses to walk passed them. And finally you give in. 

Now those doughnuts didn't really sit there calling your name did they? But why did just knowing that they were there make them so tempting? Why did they suddenly become so important? I really do have power over the doughnuts. But why do I think they have power over me? It isn't true that food is the only legitimate pleasure I'll ever have. It is time to stop giving up everything for the doughnuts, cupcakes, cookies, whatever, that I encounter. 

I Can't Believe This

I know I haven't been around, but I do have a good excuse. I have pneumonia. And what a time I've had trying to get that figured out. Three doctors--my regular doctor, an emergency room physician, and a surgeon couldn't figure out how to put Kathy back together again. And the doctors were in addition to the radiologists, nurses, attendants, and administrators that I've already spoken with--you know to promise, "Yes, I really do have insurance."

At the beginning of June I went to my doctor to discuss this pain I'd been having in my right side for months now--except now it was getting worse. Every doctor I saw immediately zeroed in on my being a 50-year-old fat woman. So of course, it had to be my gall bladder. I was subjected to several tests. They showed nothing other how healthy I am.

OK. So what's causing the pain. "Well," my doctor says, "we'll need an upper GI to look at your stomach and small intestines for ulcers." Oh great. I get to drink barium.

This test showed I had a mild hiatal hernia--not the huge hernia I was assured that I had and need surgery for. But a mild hernia. Nothing worth getting upset about. So now I'm sent for a CT Scan. More barium. Yum.

Now the thing with all of this is not so much that all of it was done and whether it was actually necessary, but the thing was I had to wait a week between doctors and tests. It took over a month to figure out that I have pneumonia. I'm still stunned.