The Monkey Attack

Where do I begin? The past weekend was, well, I'm not quite sure. It started going wrong Friday evening. I stopped by the grocery store, and when I went to get back in my car, I hit my head so hard on the door frame that it left a bump. OK. I should've just gone home and got into bed and stayed there, but I didn't. Saturday I was watching the two little nieces. My brother and I decided to take them to this little zoo in a rural area close to here. And it should've been just fine. But. . . . .

The Oldest One wanted to feed some monkeys and went rushing up to the cage. One of the monkeys reached through the bars and grabbed her by the hair. I start screaming, "Oh my God." And yelling her name. My brother runs up and pries the monkey's hands from her hair, scoops her up, and brings her back to safety. (I'm obviously no good in a real moment of panic.) I start looking her over to make sure there's no real damage. She appeared to be OK—just missing a little hair. Within 10 minutes, though, she had recovered and wanted to go see the rest of the animals. I'm not sure I would be OK yet. This incident will hereafter be known as The Monkey Attack.

Once we left the zoo, we decided to go shopping. The Mall was OK, but The Little One was beginning to run a fever. So we went to get some medicine for her. I wanted to go ahead and give her a dose, so I was going to sit down in the front seat of the car with her. I had her in my arms, and I started to sit down when I slammed my head into the door frame of car again. But this time my head was knocked forward and I smashed my nose into The Little One's chin. Now she's got a boo boo on her chin, and I've got boo boos on the back and front of my head. I should've realized The Monkey Attack was an omen. We finally made it home at about 9:30 p.m. and just went to bed.

How often can you say a monkey attacked you? Not often, I don't think.

So my weekend consisted of slamming my head into car-door frames and witnessing monkey attacks. Through this, I managed to be at least somewhat careful about what I ate. And all of the walking did me good, too.