Are you codependent? I am. Just the other day, I told someone that to feel validated in life I have to feel like I'm needed. Geez. I'm not saying that it isn't OK to want to be needed. It's just when that becomes your primary reason for survival, well, it could be a tad over the top. (Sigh.)
I grew up with an alcoholic—my Dad. I eventually married an alcoholic (before that I lived with one). My entire life, I have been drawn to people I can take care of. And that's one of the giveaway traits of a codependent personality. Needing to be needed.
I've been trying to examine how being codependent is related to being overweight or obese. I believe there is a direct connection. Many codependent people have low self esteem. And many overweight people have low self esteem. Maybe I stay fat so I won't have to deal with life. Does my obsession with food come from being codependent? Is food my own drug of choice? Does that come from a life of dysfunction? Or is it all just an excuse to eat?
Addicted to Food
I watched the first part of Addicted to Food on OWN last night. I relate to the people on that show. Hiding behind a wall of fat is safe place. Sometimes it's hard to believe that a cupcake could be more important than my health, but it so often is. I was bulimic when I was younger. I stayed thin through purging. I no longer purge. Now, I'm a compulsive overeater.
I think I would like to go to Shades of Hope. Tennie says she puts your disease right in your face. In my own therapy, it's been hard admitting to a lot of things I've done to stay in a comfort zone. Right now, even though I want to lose weight, I don't want to give up the foods that make me feel safe—ice cream, cake, bologna, bread, and the like. Maybe being forced to give it up would help. I don't know. I'd like to try.
On the show, the staff at Shades of Hope also said, It's what you're eating. It's what's eating you. How do I figure that out on my own? OK. I know I'm codependent. I know I'm also an addict. I guess that's the beginning, isn't it?
I know this post is confusing. There's too much going on. But that's where my head is.
I grew up with an alcoholic—my Dad. I eventually married an alcoholic (before that I lived with one). My entire life, I have been drawn to people I can take care of. And that's one of the giveaway traits of a codependent personality. Needing to be needed.I've been trying to examine how being codependent is related to being overweight or obese. I believe there is a direct connection. Many codependent people have low self esteem. And many overweight people have low self esteem. Maybe I stay fat so I won't have to deal with life. Does my obsession with food come from being codependent? Is food my own drug of choice? Does that come from a life of dysfunction? Or is it all just an excuse to eat?
Addicted to Food
I watched the first part of Addicted to Food on OWN last night. I relate to the people on that show. Hiding behind a wall of fat is safe place. Sometimes it's hard to believe that a cupcake could be more important than my health, but it so often is. I was bulimic when I was younger. I stayed thin through purging. I no longer purge. Now, I'm a compulsive overeater.
I think I would like to go to Shades of Hope. Tennie says she puts your disease right in your face. In my own therapy, it's been hard admitting to a lot of things I've done to stay in a comfort zone. Right now, even though I want to lose weight, I don't want to give up the foods that make me feel safe—ice cream, cake, bologna, bread, and the like. Maybe being forced to give it up would help. I don't know. I'd like to try.
On the show, the staff at Shades of Hope also said, It's what you're eating. It's what's eating you. How do I figure that out on my own? OK. I know I'm codependent. I know I'm also an addict. I guess that's the beginning, isn't it?
I know this post is confusing. There's too much going on. But that's where my head is.
