20 Good Years

Finally, I made it back to the gym. I got in 45 minutes of cardio—20 minutes on the elliptical and 25 minutes on the treadmill. Ten of the treadmill minutes were walking backward. I read somewhere that walking backward is not only good for because it uses a different set of muscles, but it actually burns more calories. Let's hope that's true.

Yesterday's calories were about 900. I just don't feel like eating. Too bad it's not showing up on the scale.

I still feel a little icky, and I'd really like to get well once and for all.

Mostly I laid around over the weekend because I ended up with vertigo. I took some Mucinex and my ears started draining. That is the weirdest feeling. But it's taking away the vertigo. Vertigo is the worst feeling for me. If I died and were doomed to Hell for my bad deeds, my punishment would probably be suffering through all eternity with vertigo.

I want to learn how to play the piano. A friend of mine is helping me. I figure I've probably only got 20 good years, so I should make of the best of them. I'll let you know how that goes.

Help. I'm Gonna be 50

OK. I decided maybe I'll stick with my gym. I'd miss seeing my crush if I left—not that anything would ever come of it. But he sure is nice to look at. What's the English equivalent for gggaaahhhh with drool running down my chin?

I wrapped my leg and it seems to help. I'm doing a lot of stretching as well. I only did 30 minutes of cardio this morning followed with the stretching.

The eating is still not where it should be.

Work sucks.

Life is boring.

I'm going to be 50 on Sunday.

I'm old.

I'm tired.

I don't know what I should be doing.

OK. I gotta go to work.

Celebrate Your Life

Today is Friday. Another week gone. 

Last night I was dreaming that several people in my neighborhood had already decorated for Christmas. I've had this dream a couple of times now. I was really shocked that they would go ahead and decorate so early. I thought, "Wow. They are really going to be tired of those decorations by Christmas. It's the middle August. Geez." What kind of meaning does this dream have to me? Christmas coming early? Christmas coming too soon? 

When Al was alive, Christmas was my favorite time of year. I still like to buy gifts for the girls. And slowly, Christmas is coming back to life for me. But why do I keep dreaming about people decorating for the holiday too early? What does that mean? Maybe that there are things to celebrate no matter what time of year it is? 

I did 65 minutes of cardio this morning. Fifty minutes on the elliptical and 15 minutes on the treadmill. And now I can rest for a couple of days. I do plan on getting some work done around my house this weekend. I've put it off too long. 

Yesterday, I said that absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder—at least it doesn't for me. It makes me forget and feel forgotten. Real friends don't have to find the time for each other—they make the time. Everyone is busy. But sometimes you have to put off going to the grocery store and take a minute for the people in your life. And yes, that's message to "someone out there"—even if it is too late.

I have a lot of challenges to get my house in order. It's such a mess now. So that's going to take a lot of time for a while. I have a stack of various colors of paint chips. I'm trying to decide between colors that are only a micro-shade of difference. How do you ever know for sure? 

OK. Gotta go for today.

Lots and Lots of Cardio

Thank God it's Friday. I did 30 minutes on an elliptical, 30 minutes on a treadmill, and 15 minutes on an exercise bike (I wanted to do 20 minutes on the bike but got sidetracked in a conversation with a fellow gym goer). So I burned about 700 calories this morning, according to what the equipment said anyway. I'm ready for a rest this weekend. By the time Friday gets here, I'm usually worn out.

Today I feel thin, even if it doesn't show on the scale. My gym friend commented that I look like I'm still losing—"You're losing inches though, aren't you?" he said.

"Yeah, a little," I said. "But I've been plateaued for a long time now. I've been hovering around the same weight since about February. And that's when it gets really hard. It's like: "why not go ahead and eat what I want? It's not like I'm losing weight anyway.'"

And that's where the trouble lies. I started eating too much, and then I reached a point where what I'm taking in and what I'm expending balance out. And that equals no weight loss. So, I've got to get the eating under control.

Well I have the weekend to chill out. So that's what I think I will do.

Are you looking at me?

For some reason I couldn't sign on this morning. This is the first time I've been able to get through. Anyway. . . .

"Crush" sighting this morning. I got caught ogling. Doh. I got a smile and a wave anyway. I wanted to say, "You mind dropping your towel and then turning around to pick it up?" But I didn't. I just smiled and waved back. I can't help it. I just really like looking at this guy. And what is the real harm in that? As a matter of fact, I think it means I've reached a new level in my life. I'm past the horrible, hurtful grief of losing Al. I still miss him, but I don't cry when I think of him now—at least not all of the time. And I now have the ability to find someone else attractive. While this crush will go nowhere—because my crush is already attached and really unattainable—I can still look at him in way that I haven't been able to look at a man in a long time. And that ain't bad.

OK. I'm looking for suggestions about how to get past a plateau. I've been in basically the same place for three months. I feel like my legs and butt and getting firmer, but the upper body hasn't changed much. Also, the scale isn't moving. I know I've had some success with losing inches, but not the many inches. I'm frustrated. I think what I need is drastic change in the overall exercise plan because I've changed my diet in number of ways with no effect. Does anyone know any good intervals workouts for cardio? How about strength? And I'll take diet suggestions, too. Let me know if anything has worked for you that may even sound a little odd or not traditional. I'm getting desperate for change.

Ok, then. That's it for now. 

Just Another Monday

Well, it's Monday. It was hard to get up this morning, but I did. I worked out, but I felt like I was moving really slowly. I did my cardio and strength training. And I made it through. Now I feel really tired—which is unusual fro me on a Monday. I typical;y have more energy after having some time off. 

Yesterday I jumped rope. The rope I bought is too long. I was trying to figure out how to shorten it a little. Also, it's kinda hard on my knees to jump too much. 

The weekend was long. I didn't do anything. I had a sinus headache all day on Saturday, so I didn't feel like doing anything anyway. I wanted to hit the Rail Trail with my dog, but it didn't happen. But spring has only started and summer has yet to begin. So I have a long time before it snows again.

Sometimes I feel like this blog is really lame because I can't write everything I want to write in it. It still surprises me when someone I know comes up and asks me something about some post I made in my blog. I think, "Wait a minute. How did you know that?" Well, duh, I wrote it down for the world to read. So I have to be careful.

Yesterday, I took Chance to a Dog Wash for charity. Anyway, before we left, I let him outside so he could do his thing and there wouldn't be any surprises for whoever was washing him. I shut the door after he ran out the door. Then I walked across the room and picked up his leash. Then he started jumping against the door wanting back in. He knew I had his leash. How did he know? The door was shut; he couldn't see me. How did he know?