I'm Expecting Something

Last night I dreamed I was pregnant again. I've had this dream a couple of times now. It's kind of weird. I couldn't believe I was pregnant. I keep thinking, "How can this be? I'm 50 years old. How can I get pregnant when I'm menopausal?" 

Then this guy comes up to me and says, "Is it sore around your belly button?"

I say, "Yes."

He says, "Then you're pregnant." 

OK. I begin to accept that I'm pregnant—even if the pregnancy test is a little odd. So what is it that I'm expecting? Something that I thought was an impossibility. At first it's kind of scary, but then I accept that it's real. I'm going to give birth. To what? That may sound like an odd question, but I have no idea what it is that I'm currently incubating. What's growing inside me? What I'm sure of is that I don't know.

 

Today I'm really hungry. It's going to  be hard to contain my appetite. I guess that goes along with being pregnant. At least I have an excuse. I'm kidding, of course.

The long weekend was welcome. I could use a few more. Tonight I'm going to a comedy show. Ralphie May is coming to Morgantown. This should be fun. 

I hit the gym again this morning. I did the intensive interval workout. Today it was hard after the long break. But I managed it get through it. 

And tomorrow will be another day.

How can this be?

I had to write this down. Last night, I dreamed I was pregnant. At first I didn't know I was pregnant. It was only after I took a pregnancy test that I discovered it. I'm not sure why I was taking the test, only that I did it. When I turned the indicator over, there it was in bright red letters--PREGNANT. My first thought was, "How can this be? Al has been dead for more than two-and a-half years. Yet he is clearly the father. In fact he was the only one who could be the father." I wondered why I would get pregnant now. I never could get pregnant before. But now that Al was gone, I get pregnant. Could this pregnancy have been lying dormant for more than two years? No that was ridiculous. Then I remembered having some kind of surgery, and I thought about some hormones that I had been taking. All of this must've cleared the way for a prgenancy to be possible.

After a little more thought I remember that I had artificially inseminated myself. (Weird I know, but that's dreaming for you. And I even had a memory of how I had done it, but I will not go into detail. And don't ask because I won't tell you. It was just too weird.)

Once I knew for sure that I was, in fact, pregnant, I immediately got scared. How could I possibly do this on my own? But here was my belly getting bigger. And that explained why I was having such a difficult time losing weight. This baby was growing inside me. And I was already three months along. I remember thinking that baby must've already taken a form and its sex would be known.

Now for reason, I went back in time to when I was in high school. I was wondering the halls of my school trying to find my class. But I was lost. I thought that the teacher would surely excuse my tardiness since I was, after all, pregnant.

Now I began to accept my pregnancy. And I was excited because it was Al's baby. I thought that his DNA would carry on after all. He would be a part of its life. I remembering rubbing my tight belly and feeling the baby move inside me. I was already showing a little bit, too. I got on a bus and sat in the front seat. I guess I was going home. I remember writing about being pregnant in my blog. I wondered what people would think.

So what do you think?