Going Slow, Trying to Work It Out

I'm starting the week out slow. I wrote a couple of articles for suite101.com over the weekend. One titled Dying from a Broken Heart and the other How To Quit Smoking. If you see any mistakes in them, let me know. I'm the Queen of Missing Words.

I'm still working on the article about Food Addiction. It's hard for me to write because I'm so close to the topic.  While I'm getting better at knowing when I'm physically full, I still suffer from sugar attacks. Anyway, with the article, I feel like, "How can I tell people about food addiction if I'm a food addict myself?"

Clean House and Hoarders
I watched Clean House—The Messiest Home yesterday. Wow. Hoarding behavior again. I really identify with this kind of behavior, but on the level of weight. Hoarders are afraid to give up their stuff. I'm afraid to give up my fat. It somehow brings me security, even though I try to tell myself and others that's not the case. I think another blogger, Journey Beyond Survival, said the same thing. Anyway, I'm working through it—trying to figure out what's going on in my head. My fat is somehow linked to my identity. If I lose it, I'll lose part of who I am—maybe. I don't know.

weight loss, hoarders

A Mighty Wind

I don't know if I ever told this story. But I was driving around with the check engine light on my car ON all of the time. And I had never changed the car into my name after Al died. Anyway, one Friday I finally got the car changed over into my name. On Monday, the check engine light went out. I did not have anything mechanically done to the car. Now you tell me what happened?

The road to good health is a long and windy one. (Windy can be either like a wind blowing or it can mean curvy—either way it works with weight loss.) I'm on a real sugar binge this week. I hope I can get over it soon. According to some new research (and don't ask me who did it) a low carb diet is better for humans than a low fat diet. It even helps lower cholesterol. Who knew?

I'm still doing the high intensity strength/cardio workout. This morning it felt particularly good to do it. Some days, that workout really helps me workout the stress in my life. This was one of those days. I especially liked doing the cardio part today. Geez, it helps me just blast through stress—especially if I go faster and faster. But I couldn't get my heart rate past 130 today. And that's not a bad thing. It's just that I have to work harder and harder to get to the same level of exertion that I did just a few months ago. And that means I'm now burning fewer calories. And that, of course, means I have to eat less. I don't know if I can.

I have a birthday party to go to this weekend. My youngest great niece is four years old now. What a stinker she is. And I may take Chance to a dog wash again. He has D.O. really bad. So that's it for my plans.

Oh, and after six months, I'm having a period. Who said nature was fair? I think I'd have to argue with that. It's not heavy by any sense of the word. But it's annoying. I'm crampy—but it explains a hellava lot. I think y'all know what I mean. 

OK. That's it for now. My Internet was out at home. So I don't know if I'll have it back this weekend or not. And that's annoying, too.