Embracing Forgiveness, Empowering the Future

Yea. I worked out this morning. Well, I walked a little more than two miles. That means I exercised in some sort of way five times this week—one day I worked out twice. Today, I feel more like my old self than I have in more than a year. I'm excited. Next week I'm planning to go to at least one Zumba class with a friend. Maybe I'll do more. I intend to go the gym as well, and maybe I'll even make the Pilates class.

This morning, I noticed there were a couple of older women in it. And I didn't notice until there were only 15 minutes of class time left. I was surprised and bummed out. I assumed it would always be a class filled with young people, and I was wrong. So you know what they say about assuming? (Note: I am happy about this because I am 51 years old. Sorry if it came off like I was being a jerk. No way. I love it.)

Forgiving and Moving Forward
Today I'm working on positive thinking and forgiveness. There are some people in my life that I will have a tough time forgiving. But forgiving doesn't mean forgetting, and it's my choice as to whether I have them in my life or just choose to forgive and move on.

Also, I think that the self-absorbed pity party is over. Thank God. I was getting kind of tired of me.

Nutrition Not So Great
Nutrition has been so, so. I eat healthy food—but I'm still indulging here and there—mostly here, and there, And maybe over there. Anyway, more than I should be. Usually once I get beyond a depressive episode, the chocolate cravings stop. I'm still waiting.

I'm looking forward to some warmer weather this weekend. When it's been well below freezing, anything above 32 degrees feels like a heat wave.

Don't know if I'll be writing this weekend. If not, I'll see you Monday.

Confessions of a Foodaholic

Hello, my name is Kathy, and I am a foodaholic. I love to eat. There are so many foods that I love the taste of--chocolate, mashed potatoes and gravy, hamburgers, fried chicken, and the list goes on. I make special trips to the store because I'm craving something. I eat out all of the time because restaurant food is delicious.

I eat for no other reason than there's nothing better to do. I eat ice cream out of the carton. I eat chips out of the bag. I eat alone or with company. I eat like I will never be fed again.

I eat when I'm happy. I eat when I'm sad. I make up reasons to eat. I make up reasons that I deserve this cake, cookie, ice cream, whatever. I get mad because I can't eat whatever I want because I'll gain weight. I believe it isn't fair. Other people get to eat massive amounts of food and don't gain a pound--or at least in my world they don't. If they did, I wouldn't be able to justify my anger.

I quit smoking. Why can't I quit overeating?
Seven years ago I quit smoking. That's right. I used to smoke. I came from an era when everyone smoked. Even Rob and Laura Petrie smoked. (They slept in separate beds so I guess they needed some way to relieve the tension.) Anyway, today I got to thinking. Why was I able to quit smoking? I used patches to quit. So I had a crutch. And that made it easier.

So how can I apply my ability to quit smoking to controlling my food addictions? What was it inside me that gave me the strength to do it? I don't think they make ice cream patches--do they? So what I'm doing is looking for the person inside me who can stop. The person who can make things happen. The person who wants it bad enough.

Stay turned.

P.S. I ran across The Joy Project today. Interesting stuff.