Getting on Top of Why I Always Feel on the Bottom

PBS will be airing a documentary titled This Emotional Life beginning January 4, 2010. It's three-part series, and looks like it will be worth watching.

If you can't tell from my posts lately, I'm really exploring my emotions and how they connect to who I am--and to why I have a food addiction. Depression, anger, and guilt keep my emotional roller coaster running. And I use food to control my feelings, and my reaction to the world. But I'm tired of it. I'm tired of ruining my health just so I can feel better for five minutes. I'm tired of giving up on things that will make me happy because they will be hard to do. So my New Year's resolutions include figuring how this got started so I can figure out how to end it.

I'd like to share with you some of the things that I've found. Binge eating or compulsive overeating has it's roots in addiction. Oftentimes, people who use food as a means of coping come from families in which addiction is one of the most common traits.

Binge eating or compulsive overeating falls into the realm of addictive behaviors because the person who is exhibiting the behavior is preoccupied with it. Food is always on their mind. They no more than finish lunch until they are thinking about snacks or dinner. They often eat at night or in secret. They have secret stashes.

People who are addicted to food typically use ruminative coping methods--meaning they tend to dwell on problems. Also, there are brain changes associated with obesity. These changes are similar to those in an alcoholic or drug addict. Obese people often fall into what has been called a toxic triangle--eating, drinking, over thinking. (The drinking doesn't have to be alcohol. It could be soda.) This behavior leads to binging.

So. That sounds like me. And now I've got to figure out which way to go.

Note that I've added a resource in the left-hand column: Disorder.org. Here's a direct link to information about eating disorders.

Photo Credit: APaperFaceOnParade