Are you looking at me?

For some reason I couldn't sign on this morning. This is the first time I've been able to get through. Anyway. . . .

"Crush" sighting this morning. I got caught ogling. Doh. I got a smile and a wave anyway. I wanted to say, "You mind dropping your towel and then turning around to pick it up?" But I didn't. I just smiled and waved back. I can't help it. I just really like looking at this guy. And what is the real harm in that? As a matter of fact, I think it means I've reached a new level in my life. I'm past the horrible, hurtful grief of losing Al. I still miss him, but I don't cry when I think of him now—at least not all of the time. And I now have the ability to find someone else attractive. While this crush will go nowhere—because my crush is already attached and really unattainable—I can still look at him in way that I haven't been able to look at a man in a long time. And that ain't bad.

OK. I'm looking for suggestions about how to get past a plateau. I've been in basically the same place for three months. I feel like my legs and butt and getting firmer, but the upper body hasn't changed much. Also, the scale isn't moving. I know I've had some success with losing inches, but not the many inches. I'm frustrated. I think what I need is drastic change in the overall exercise plan because I've changed my diet in number of ways with no effect. Does anyone know any good intervals workouts for cardio? How about strength? And I'll take diet suggestions, too. Let me know if anything has worked for you that may even sound a little odd or not traditional. I'm getting desperate for change.

Ok, then. That's it for now. 

Fence Sitting

I'm thinking of doing Boot Camp. That's a six-week program of intense exercise taught by someone who is a hardcore athlete. I really want to do it. My reservations: being at there at 5 a.m.—that's currently the time I get up—and it costs $150—and that's kind of steep for me right now. I think I'm in good enough shape to do it. But I'm still on the fence. It would be a good kick in the butt, though.

I was thinking this morning that's it's been about a year since I made the decision to get in shape. I've lost around 60 pounds since then. I feel better than I've felt in years. And it's hard for me to believe that I was ever "that other person"—that fat woman who could barely get around. I still have a long way to go, but the distance is getting shorter. 

Last year in April, I went to Williamsburg. While on this trip, I began making some lifestyle changes. I walked a lot. I tried to watch what I was eating. I started trying to live again. It had been a long time since I was truly alive. I was still in heavy grief. But I knew I had to make some changes. My health had been rapidly deteriorating for more than 18 months. I felt sick all of the time. My body ached. My own weight was getting impossible to haul around. My joints hurt. I couldn't even bend over. But much has changed.

It's amazing what a difference a year makes.