One More and That's Enough

OK. One more dream experience, then I'm done. Last night I dreamed I couldn't move. I thought I was being held down by a demon. I thought it had me completely wrapped up in it's clutches. And no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't scream for help. It was like my voice had been blocked.

Now, I've had enough experience with dreams to know that this was sleep paralysis. However, I can't get away from the fact that this is how I feel right now—paralyzed. I can't make anything happen. I can't get going on anything. I feel like my world is ready to fall apart. I used to be able to make my life into what I wanted it to be. I'm not saying that everything I wanted came easily—but I didn't have fear that I have now. Sometimes I feel like I'm trapped under the debris that my poor decisions have left behind. But enough of that.

I am working hard to put myself into a positive mindset. I want to believe that I can make my life into what I want it to be.

So I can't think of anything else right now. Short sweet post—and my determination to break free and become who I want to  be. 

Another Dream

I've been having some vivid dreams lately so I want to write them down—mostly so I won't forget and can then try to draw some insight from them. Anyway, last night I dreamed I was offered a new job out of the blue. The woman who would be my new boss told me she was impressed by me and wanted me to start working for her—right away.

I was kind of puzzled as to why she thought I was so great—and I was kind of afraid of changing to a new a job. What about my current job? What if I couldn't do this new job? However, the new job was something I would much prefer doing. It had to do with health and weight issues. It came with many benefits as well—lie built in nutrition and exercise. Still I had this fear of change.

I kept looking back at my old job and thinking that it had been the only thing I had done for years. What if I really couldn't separate myself from it? How could I just leave it?

Then for whatever reason, I said to myself, "Kathy you would be a fool not to take this new job. It is everything you've wanted in a job. And it can help you build yourself into the person you want to be." And so I took the job. That was the end of the dream as I woke up.

OK. the night before the dream was about having the keys I needed—you know, even though I thought I lost my keys I knew who had the keys I needed. Last night it was about being offered something very appealing totally unexpectedly that would make my life into what I want it to be. I'm definitely on board for that.

Another thing, when I woke up from last night's dream I was very disappointed that I woke up into my life as it is now. Sigh. 

Losing the Keys Dream

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Last night, I dreamed I lost my car keys. I had locked the car—and I think I left it running. So the keys must've been in the car. But I couldn't find a key to get back in. And for some reason my car was really one of those giant pick-up trucks, which I  wouldn't drive. But this is a dream so . . . Anyway, I searched everywhere I could think of, but no luck. So I decided to go about my business—and worry about the keys when I needed them. And that surely happened.

Then some old boyfriend showed up. At first I thought about getting back into a relationship with him, but he didn't want to. Then I realized that I didn't want it either. It just seemed like a way to get home. Then I checked a key ring in my purse, but the keys weren't there. Then I poured all of the contents out of my purse and thought for moment I had found them. But again no. The illusive keys disappeared before I can get them in my hand.

Then, a revelation hit me. I had given spare keys to a number of people.  In fact, at least five people had keys. I could remember who had them—all I had to do was ask. Why hadn't I remembered that before? Why did I always forget that these people had keys? If I could remember that, I wouldn't have to go through this all the time.

Anyway, I think I know what this means in my life. I keep going through the same problem over and over, and I forget that I know where the keys are to solve it.

Have you ever dreamed that you lost your keys? 

Viva la Vida

I love this song.

Letters To God

I was wondering about the things that other people pray for. So I started looking around the web and found a few letters to God. I was surprised at how many people pray for things that are similar to my own requests to the Lord. As it turns out, a lot of people want God's help.

I have written numerous "God, Please help me," letters and said many of those prayers. Have you ever asked God for help? Have you ever written a letter to God? I started a simple poll—it's to the right of this post. I'm not trying to be intrusive. I'm just wondering. Also, do believe that God has answered your prayer or letter? 

Too Much Candy May Cause More (Or Less) Than You Bargained For

Over the weekend, my five-year-old nephew said to me, "When old people eat too much candy, they get feet like stumps." OK. I'm sure he was referring to his grandfather who had to have half of his foot amputated because of gangrene due to diabetes.

Later when I told my brother about the nephew's observations, we pondered whether the nephew had come to this conclusion on his own, or whether someone told him, "That's what happens when you eat too candy," in an effort to spare the child of nightmares about doctors and hospitals—or just thinking he was too young to understand.

Then I said, "Well, I think it would be even more horrifying to think 'that's just what happens.' You know, one too many Hershey's kisses, and it turns into a scene from the Wizard of Oz. Suddenly, your feet just shrivel up right in front of you."

And now, every time I think of "feet like stumps," I laugh out loud. Even though, it isn't really that funny, if you really think about it.

And that was the funniest thing that happened to me this weekend. 

And Almost a Month Later. . . .

I'm still at a loss for words. My life's path remains unclear. Some days, I'm very confused. Other days, I feel OK. But it isn't anything anyone else hasn't faced. And there is a solution to all of life's problems. At least I know that much.

Hope all of you are well.

The writers of nondiet.com keep sending me links to their articles. And I checked out their site. It seems legit. You may find some tidbits of information there. I hope you enjoy it.

That's all for now.