Getting Past the Set Point

So my week ends well. "Crush" sighting this morning—although a piece of exercise equipment obstructed my view, it was still nice. OMG. He looks good. 

I heard this morning that our regular aerobics instructor was injured. She blew out her bicep. Wow. How do you do that? So I'm wondering who'll be teaching next week? I hope that Cassie comes back. I loved the zumba/step combination. It was a lot of fun, and it didn't feel like exercise. 

I'm still struggling with weight loss. I don't know what's going on. Also, I feel like I'm going to have a period. This whole menopause thing sucks. Either let me go ahead and have a period, or just stop altogether so I can get on with my life. And, I think I'm stuck at a new set point for my body. I think my body just doesn't want to give up any more fat. So it's hanging onto the 45+ pounds I still have to lose for dear life.  How do I get past this? I was counting calories for crying out loud and still gained weight. How can that be? Please somebody, tell me.

From June 7 to 11, I'll be in Atlanta. Maybe the change will do me some good. The last time I traveled, I lost weight. Maybe my body needs a good shock. I hope. 

Day Starts out Fun, I Just Hope It Stays that Way

Today's aerobics class was a lot of fun. It was a mix of zumba and step. I really enjoyed it, and it was a nice break from the hardcore "training-for-the-Olympics" stuff we have been doing. The regular instructor must have the week off. She gets a break and so do we. Ahhhh.

I feel better today without the prednisone. No leg cramps. No overly bloated feeling. I really should've lost weight. I have been tracking everything I ate for more than seven days now. I should have lost a pound or two. And on Monday I weighed five less than I do right now. WTF. So I hope stopping the prednisone helps. I'd really like to get back to my old self. 

I also stopped taking the soy isoflavones on the outside chance it could be affecting my thyroid. I'm still taking the resveratrol. I'm continuing the bio-identical hormones because they are really helping a lot of my menopausal symptoms. So we'll see what happens. 

I Gained Weight

Well, over the past two weeks I have gained four pounds. WTF. So the soy and resveratrol are a joke. I have been counting calories everyday. I should have lost weight. However, I did injure my knee and it is swollen, but I don't think it's four-pounds-worth-of-fluid swollen. That would be a heck of a knee. My legs do feel swollen. And I have been taking prednisone for allergies. So the weight gain is most likely due to the steroids. I did some reading and they not only cause fat gain, they cause fluid retention. Damn. I'm going to stop them and see what happens.

Sleep Eating

I took a sleeping pill before I went to bed last night. It was the one with the reputation for "sleep eating" problems. I got up in the middle of the night and ate the pineapple I had in the frig. No, it wasn't a whole pineapple. It was cut up. And at least it was something that was good for me. I don't know why I took the whole pill. I usually break them in half. At least I didn't go out and drive somewhere. One time after Al died, I actually drove to McDonald's while under the influence of this sleeping pill. So why do I still take them? I have an additive personality.

"Crush" sighting at the gym today. So it's good day in spite of anything else that may or may not happen. I wonder if he knows I ogle him?

I think my body needs a rest, but I afraid to stop because I'm afraid I won't start again. I just had four days off though. But legs are really crampy. Maybe I'm dehydrated. Maybe I need potassium. Maybe I need a massage. yeah. That would be nice.

Weight Watchers today. If I have any good news, I'll report it right away. Until then.

I'm Changing and So Is My Life

It is so humid here it makes exercise difficult. Although I was trying as hard as I could, exercise this morning left me feeling a little worn. 

I think my pregnancy dream means I am expecting a big change in my life. This change has been apparent to me for months now—i.e. already showing. The change will affect my life in great ways, but it will need to be nurtured and cared for. And I don't have to forget Al. He will always be a part of my life. OK. So what is the change? I'm still trying to figure it out. Is it linked to the way I look? Is it linked to my career? Is it both? Is it that I've lost a lot of weight and things seem to be coming easier to me now? In my dream, the pregnancy was something I didn't know I has until I took a test. What test will I be taking? I don't know. When I get it figured out, I'll let you know.

Yesterday I did some work in front of my house. I toted six 50 pound bags of river rocks from Lowes to my car, and then from my car to the front of my house all by myself. And it didn't wear me out. It actually exhilarated me. I need about 12 more bags. I don't think I can get them all at once though. My little car likely won't hold that much. But I can get at least six at a time. Doing anything is so much easier now. I amaze myself at the amount I'm able to lift and carry. 

Well, that's it for today.

How can this be?

I had to write this down. Last night, I dreamed I was pregnant. At first I didn't know I was pregnant. It was only after I took a pregnancy test that I discovered it. I'm not sure why I was taking the test, only that I did it. When I turned the indicator over, there it was in bright red letters--PREGNANT. My first thought was, "How can this be? Al has been dead for more than two-and a-half years. Yet he is clearly the father. In fact he was the only one who could be the father." I wondered why I would get pregnant now. I never could get pregnant before. But now that Al was gone, I get pregnant. Could this pregnancy have been lying dormant for more than two years? No that was ridiculous. Then I remembered having some kind of surgery, and I thought about some hormones that I had been taking. All of this must've cleared the way for a prgenancy to be possible.

After a little more thought I remember that I had artificially inseminated myself. (Weird I know, but that's dreaming for you. And I even had a memory of how I had done it, but I will not go into detail. And don't ask because I won't tell you. It was just too weird.)

Once I knew for sure that I was, in fact, pregnant, I immediately got scared. How could I possibly do this on my own? But here was my belly getting bigger. And that explained why I was having such a difficult time losing weight. This baby was growing inside me. And I was already three months along. I remember thinking that baby must've already taken a form and its sex would be known.

Now for reason, I went back in time to when I was in high school. I was wondering the halls of my school trying to find my class. But I was lost. I thought that the teacher would surely excuse my tardiness since I was, after all, pregnant.

Now I began to accept my pregnancy. And I was excited because it was Al's baby. I thought that his DNA would carry on after all. He would be a part of its life. I remembering rubbing my tight belly and feeling the baby move inside me. I was already showing a little bit, too. I got on a bus and sat in the front seat. I guess I was going home. I remember writing about being pregnant in my blog. I wondered what people would think.

So what do you think?

Baby I'm Amazed

I didn't go to work today, and I need to be careful because it's starting to become a pattern for me. Anyway, I woke up and my right calve was aching--it had been aching all night. I decided to take the day off from everything--work and workouts. I think I might be pushing myself a little too hard.

But I'm seeing such great results in the way I look. I hate to stop anything I'm doing. I'm not really losing weight right now, but I'm firming up so much. I must've lost a good half inch from my thighs, and at least that much from other areas. In fact, my measurement under my breasts is 37 inches. My butt is 40. Waist about 33. Around my boobs it's 43. My waist when I started all of this was 45 inches. So I've lost an entire foot of fat from around my middle. When I think of it like that I'm amazed myself.

Here's the rotation plan that I'm doing for my diet: 1200 calories for three days, 1500 for four, and then a week at 1800. And then I start all over again. The diet includes lots of fruit and vegetables, lean meat like chicken and fish (certain kinds of fish like tuna and salmon), low fat dairy, and whole grains. I'm going to work up some menus ahead of time so I'm less likely to cheat. I'm also writing it all down. OK, that's to kick start me. Then after three weeks, I'm moving to a 1200 day, 1500 day, 1800 day and back again so my body doesn't get used to any kind pattern. I'm hoping that if I mix it up enough, I'll begin to see some progress on the scale again. I know that the scale isn't the only measure of success. But so many things make the scale important--even Weight Watchers.

So that's where I am now. Until next time.

It's Like Boot Camp

Man. Aerobics was tough this morning. One of the other girls in the class asked the aerobics instructor: "What? Are trying to train us for the police academy?" Full sit ups. Jumping squats.I thought I was going to die. But it was one of those workouts that you end up being glad you made it through. I know if I could workout like that everyday, I would really get somewhere in my fitness goals.  

I am noticing that I am firming up quite a bit—especially my butt and legs. Hey, I'm an apple. I wish my waist would whittle down a lot quicker, but that's really going to require some work. And my arms too. They need a lot work. I hate my arms. I wish I had enough money for plastic surgery.

Well, life remains good. And it's another busy day. So until tomorrow. 

Lifestyle Changes May Be the Only Way to Lose

The resveratrol and soy isoflavones combo appears to be a bust—at least for me. I've been taking the combo since last Friday. I weighed myself this morning, and no weight loss. I've been in a weight loss plateau for about four months now. I haven't really lost anything in that time, and have even gained a few pounds. Actually, the scale goes up and down—sometimes it goes way down and then it goes right back up again. Anyway, this approach doesn't seem to be working. But the CLA isn't doing anything either, and it usually has some effect—even if it's just a pound or two. 

So I don't know—my problems may be centered around my being menopausal. But I'm going to keep taking it. I'll let the experiment run a little longer. I'm confused about the CLA having what appears to be no effect. Hmmm. 

So the gym was good again today. The scenery was spectacular. The "crush" was looking good today. He look like he may even have lost some weight. Too nice. But how is it that men seem to have far less trouble losing weight than women? It seems like if a guy wants to lose weight all he has to do is cut out a snack or two, exercise a little bit—maybe run a little and lift some weights every once in a while, bat his eyes a couple of times—and then the weight is magically gone? It is so unfair. 

OK. It's another busy day. I'll keep checking in with results about the resveratrol and soy isoflavones. Maybe it's just going to take a little longer. But then I'm always wasting my money looking for miracle cures. I think the only thing that really leads to weight loss and physical fitness is true lifestyle change.

Stepping through the Intervals

I started taking the soy isoflavones and resveratrol last Friday. I have not weighed myself just yet. I will definitely be weighed tomorrow. I'll let you know what the results are. But, remember, I'm also taking CLA and bioidentical hormones. So, we'll see what happens.

"Crush" sighting this morning. Yea. All I need to do is see him. I had to go to aerobics so I didn't get to stay out in the gym part where he was. But I caught a few glimpses. Whoa.

Aerobics was especially hard today. I caught sight of my face in mirror, and it was blood red with huge sweat beads broke out on my forehead. I looked like I was going to pass out. But I made it through. We did step aerobics and then intervals. The intervals were the hard part. It like: "Jesus, just make it stop." 

I'm working on eating right—you know, fewer calories than I actually need to get the weight loss started up again. But I'm trying other new things, too. I'm hoping that I'm making changes. 

Well, it's another big day here in Tinker Town—you know, work. So I gotta go for now. Until tomorrow,

Happy Monday

Well it's Monday. I had to start working as soon as I walked in the door today. Things just gotta get done. No "crush" sighting again today. Damn. What? Did he leave town? Anyway. . . .

I'm not sure, but my thighs feel bigger. That usually means I've got a lot of water weight. Why, I'm not sure. I worked out with weights today. Maybe I'm lifting too much. But if I try to lift less, it feels so light—like it isn't doing anything. So what to do?

This post will be short. I have a lot to do. I'll try later. Oh, I got out my yoga tapes over weekend and did one. It felt good. I remember when I couldn't do the whole thing. Now, it seems much easier. There were a few moves that were challenging—actually there were a number. Anyway, I'm going to try to keep it up. Later.

Nothing New under the Sun

For several posts now, I have misspelled sighting. I hate it when I do stuff like that. I know the difference, but for some reason it doesn't make it to the keypad. Anyway, again today, no "crush" sighting. I'm disappointed.

Today's aerobic workout was much less bruising than previous workouts. I think the instructor was tired. The workout didn't hurt or make me want to puke. It was OK. I enjoyed it. Exercise should be fun—not painful, right?

I'm still working on the diet. I just need to cut out the extras—I say as I scarf down some sunflower seeds. I'd like to get an appointment with a nutrition counselor. I'm doing the ole' emotional-eating thing again.

I wish I had some good news to report. But nothing new is going on. 

 

I'm A Big Boob?

My neck is killing from wearing a bra that wasn't quite my cut. So the new bra has to go. I feel like I have whiplash. My boobs got so big when I was fat. When I was younger, I never went over a B-cup. Now I'm a—I can't believe I'm saying this in a public forum—DD-cup. What happened? Does getting fat cause that much of a difference? I gained a lot of weight, but I didn't think it was all in my chest. Now I have bra-strap pain, an aching neck, and a headache. 

So I didn't do any weights today. I just concentrated on cardio. But I got some blood flowing, so I do feel a little better. But no "crush" siting today. And that my friends is a bummer.

I'm going to be visiting some of your sites to look for diet ideas. My diet is OK, but I could be doing a lot better. I guess what I'm looking for is motivational tips about how to stick to it when you've plateaued. Do you have any good advice?

Private Yoga Lesson

My blood pressure is running about 95/60 today. I feel weird. It's too low. I just ate some chips so I could have the salt. I'm not sure why it's so low. It usually runs kind of low, like about 110/65. But I feel OK. Today is just off.

I had today off because it's election day in W.Va. We use the public schools as polling places so the kids were off too. Isn't it a great world?

Since everyone was off today, when I went to aerobics this morning, I was the only one there. But it was nice. There was a substitute instructor. And she was great. Finally, an instructor my own age. Anyway, we didn't even do step aerobics today. We did yoga. And I loved it. I had my own private yoga session. So now I want to do yoga. I used to do it all of the time when I was a kid. I was in great shape then. The flexibility that you get from yoga is incomparable to any other exercise. I wanted to get out some of my yoga tapes and do them. But I think if I bend over I'll pass out. I have to get my blood pressure up a little.

I'll let you know how the yoga goes. For now, I'm going to sign off. I just feel too weird.

All I Need is a Miracle

I don't know if any of you read Woman's World,but there was yet another "you'll lose weight for sure" article in it this week. So if you take resveratrol and soy isoflavones together, fat should magically melt from your body. So OK. I'm a sucker. I'm going to try it. I already ordered it so don't try to talk me out of it. I'll let you know what my results are. 

I also ordered some CLA, which has worked for me on the short-term a number of times. I have to give myself a break in between, but it has worked—I've lost up to eight pounds using it. But then it burns out, and I have to quit for at least a month. But when I start taking it again, I'll lose a few pounds. Soooo.

I'm always looking for a miracle—in weight loss and in life. I need a miracle. I need something that makes life worth living. I need a break. A windfall. Something so that my life doesn't just keep drudging on. 

I went to the gym this morning. Did my usual cardio and weight training. Tomorrow it's aerobics. No "crush" siting this morning. Ahhhhh. But the week is young. 

The weight is still coming off very ssslllooowlllyyy. But I feel more firm. And the whole menopause thing is still screwing with me. Water retention. No water retention. Bloated. Thinner. 

I bought a new bra that really lifts my boobs. I wish they did this on their own. Wow. Makes me kinda look good. It's a Bali bra. It has stays in the sides. No underwire—surprisingly. I hate underwires. 

OK. I have nothing else to say today.

I'm Not Dying to Take Boot Camp

It's Thursday. I may take tomorrow off, but I'm not sure yet. I was feeling kind of run down, but after my workout I feel better. And I got to see my crush on the way out the door. That always makes me feel better, too. Tha thump. Tha thump. Too cute. Anyway, the day seems to be getting better. 

I was thinking of taking a day off because my aches and pains had aches pains. But I feel better. I don't know what happened in the matter of a couple of hours, but hey. 

Today, one of the ladies in my aerobics class was talking about the Boot Camp that they have at the gym. Apparently, this guy went home to take shower after the class, and had a heart attack and died. OK. That's all I needed to know. I won't be doing Boot Camp. And the aerobics instructor takes the class as well. She does not recommend it for people who are not already in superior condition. It's a lot of running—likes miles and miles of running. And that's great if that's what you want to do. But I think I'll pass. Anyway, if I'm out running around somewhere, I may miss seeing my crush. And that would be criminal.

It's All Just So So

Getting up in the morning and going to the gym are becoming such a habit that it seems too dull to write them anymore. Yes, I went to the gym again today. I feel like I'm losing a lot in abs now, too. They just feel firmer. I think the twice weekly aerobics class has more to do with than anything else I'm doing. The instructor is on a death mission I think. She really earns her money. Anyway, I think it's working.

I still struggle with my diet, though. I just love to eat. And it seems like I'm always hungry. Like right now, even though I've had pineapple, yogurt, and nuts, I could still eat. Oh, and a V-8. So what's up with that? 

Everything is pretty much the same. I still hate my arms.

Getting the Fat Off

Life is moving too slow—or maybe it's too fast. I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere. Yet time has flown by. 

I feel like my body is toning up. I still hate my arms—they're better but not what I want them to be. I know that I've been fat for a really long time. So getting the fat off will take time. But I have little patience. 

I felt especially tired during my workout today. Everything took so much effort. I really felt my age. Some days I feel like I'm in my 30s, and then other days I feel like I'm 70. Today is one of those 70s days.

I dreamed all night. But the weren't the kind of dreams I can share—at least not here. I can share one of them that involved spray-on tanner. It was really strange. I was lying on this table that had some kind of mechanized sprayer. And it was just going back and forth over top of me. It was kind of weird. But I was tan. What does it mean? Something in my life seems to be artificial and automatic—but it makes me look good. I have to figure that one out. 

The diet and exercise seem to be going well. This is the last week of a 12-week Weight Watchers at Work program. I guess I'll sign up again. I still get up at 5 a.m. and go the gym. So things are pretty much as they always are. 

Just Another Monday

Well, it's Monday. It was hard to get up this morning, but I did. I worked out, but I felt like I was moving really slowly. I did my cardio and strength training. And I made it through. Now I feel really tired—which is unusual fro me on a Monday. I typical;y have more energy after having some time off. 

Yesterday I jumped rope. The rope I bought is too long. I was trying to figure out how to shorten it a little. Also, it's kinda hard on my knees to jump too much. 

The weekend was long. I didn't do anything. I had a sinus headache all day on Saturday, so I didn't feel like doing anything anyway. I wanted to hit the Rail Trail with my dog, but it didn't happen. But spring has only started and summer has yet to begin. So I have a long time before it snows again.

Sometimes I feel like this blog is really lame because I can't write everything I want to write in it. It still surprises me when someone I know comes up and asks me something about some post I made in my blog. I think, "Wait a minute. How did you know that?" Well, duh, I wrote it down for the world to read. So I have to be careful.

Yesterday, I took Chance to a Dog Wash for charity. Anyway, before we left, I let him outside so he could do his thing and there wouldn't be any surprises for whoever was washing him. I shut the door after he ran out the door. Then I walked across the room and picked up his leash. Then he started jumping against the door wanting back in. He knew I had his leash. How did he know? The door was shut; he couldn't see me. How did he know? 

I'm Back

I thought I had completely blown diet on the trip to D.C. I ate whatever I wanted, but I was only eating three times a day. I also had to walk at least a mile everyday because my hotel was about a mile away from the workshop site. So to make a long story short, I lost four pounds from the last time I weighed myself at home. I am now at the lowest weight I've been at in years. Yea.

I worked out this morning, and I was really missing it. I didn't workout while I was away—but I did a lot of walking. Having the time off helped my muscles to fully recover from the workouts I'd been doing, so it felt great. 

I'm glad to be home. I was exhausted after two and a half days of constant activity. I was glad to sleep in my own bed last night. The hotel was comfortable, but it wasn't home.

That's all for today.