Super Skinny Me

Well, it's been a while since I've been here—a few days anyway. Since I haven't posted anything about weight loss in quite a while, I'd like to suggest a sure fire way to loss that holiday weight: Get yourself a case of stomach flu. That's right folks, it's guaranteed to make you drop five or more pounds in a hurry. It comes complete with nausea, diarrhea, headache, and lethargy. Anyway, it isn't really funny, and I'm still suffering through the headache.

But I did run across a cool website called Super Skinny Me. Despite the name, it doesn't promote anorexia. It's actually put together pretty well. If you have ever wondered what your body type is or exactly how many calories you'd need to cut from your diet to lose those pounds, this site has the calculators to do it. You can find info about different diets that you can't find, easily anyway, anywhere else. The site is loaded with cool stuff. Check it out.

It All Makes a Difference

I don't usually make two posts in one day anymore. But I ran across a story today about a guy who gives whatever he can to a charitable organization everyday. I have wanted to find ways to give for a long time now. I was operating under the impression hat you had to give thousands of dollars for it to be worthwhile. As it turns out, I was I wrong.

Carlo Garcia gives anywhere from $5 to $200 to organizations that serve people—everyday. He has given away about $2,500 this year. He maintains a blog that allows his followers—some 5,000 now—to give as  well. They have given about $3,400.

In the past month, I have given about $45 to two organizations that help people around the world get fresh drinking water into their homes—Water.org and charity: water. One of them also provided sanitation assistance. I thought that was nothing until I read Carlo's story. All it really takes is for people to help each other. If everyone gave a little bit, it would help a lot.

I have posted a widget on this blog where you can go to Carlo's blog to read about him, and maybe donate a little money to the cause.

If you really can't afford to donate money, there are plenty of other ways you can help the people in this world who need it. Habitat for Humanity always needs volunteers—I plan to get involved in this organization in anyway I can.  There are plenty of other organizations that can use office help, food delivery services, or phone calls to shut ins. It doesn't take a huge wallet to make a difference. It just takes a willingness to give.

Geez: You're In Public

It's been more than 20 years since I published my first article. When I went into journalism, I supposed that people would be accepting of my every word. After all, what I was saying was fact. So why wouldn't they see that? Well, as it turns out, it doesn't work like that. People can be and are harsh and cruel. I've been called a liar, ignorant, and other more colorful things. I've been told I should apologize and then find a new career. Why bring this up?

My point is that anytime you put yourself out in public, you open yourself up for criticism. Some of it actually will be constructive. Some of it will be hurtful and biased. But most of it will be good. Unfortunately, as human beings, we seem to zero in on the hurtful, biased comments. When I published some of my first articles and was criticised for the first time, I cried—even though the criticism wasn't actually mean. It took me a while to figure out this was the way it going to be—if I wanted people to read anything I had written.

It's the same way with blogs. Blogs in out there for anyone, anywhere to read. And some people aren't going to be nice. The thing is: You're going to have to grow a tough enough skin to handle it. Being thin skinned will keep you upset, and you likely won't post the things that most of your readers have come to count on. You'll start holding back, and, eventually, you'll lose readers. Stick to your guns, and blow off the few negative Nellies that will come your way—and they will.

I have come to a point where I appreciate the negative comments because I learn something from them, too. And getting negative comments means that people are reading your blog. So it's all good.

Old Habits Die Hard (OK. I Get It.)

I dreamed I was living in a charming old building that had been made into apartments. Two other people lived there—both of them were people I had known long ago but were no longer were part of my life, although they remain strong memories.

In this dream, I think I was living with a guy who had been a roommate of mine [we were friends only in reality as well as this dream] but I’m not sure. Across the hall was where another person lived. This girl was really a friend of the roommate—but I had known her. Although she was married, she tended to be rather provocative. She lived a colorful life, let’s say.

In this dream, she at first invited us into her apartment. But she disappeared shortly after we went in. She had gone to the back of the apartment where there were some stairs that lead to what may have been a fire escape. Anyway, it was an unguarded way that other people could get into the building.

A serial killer had gotten into this stairway and was trying to get into her apartment. She did not appear to be worried because she thought she could outsmart him. Part of her plan was to taunt him (death). I didn’t think that was such a good idea. This serial killer murdered people using a knife—often severing major arteries. He was poking the knife through an opening in the door, but she was able to avoid being cut, for a while.

I became fearful that this scheme wasn’t going to contain him much longer and choose to leave. (I choose to leave before I got cut.) I went to my apartment and tried to lock myself in. I realized, however, that once he killed this girl he would come after me because I knew who he was. As it turns out, I was right. He didn’t kill the girl, but she wound up in the hospital with several cuts, although they were not life threatening. The guy didn't do much or say much. But when he did, it was usually whining.

The murderer made a threat toward me, but now I don’t remember what he said. But it was along the lines of he intended to kill me. It was my intent to get out.

I was tired of the apartment anyway. Although beautiful, it was no longer my style, and now it had too many issues that were beyond my control—like intruders. It was old and had lots of things that needed repaired—none of which I really wanted to tackle. I wanted to move on. And that’s what I intended to do.

This is pretty much where the dream ended.

Now for my interpretation:

Dreaming of murder or intended murder usually means the end of something. The guy and the girl represent old habits [old friends] or parts of me that no longer work, such as being too free with the way I view important aspects of my life—my diet, my finances, my life. Although it’s worked for me in the past, it no longer makes sense to keep doing the same things. So a murderer comes to kill off my nonchalant way of leading my life. The old apartment has too many things that need fixed. It’s time to move on. It's time to regain control. It's also time to do the things I want to do. I don't want to be trapped someplace under constant threat of death. (Anyone who knows me can figure out what this means.) But anyway, it's the end. For me anyway.

P.S. The real meaning of this dream came to me suddenly. I think it has to do with my career more than anything else.

Christmas Vacation

No Applebee's for Him

On a recent road trip with my four-year-old nephew, he noticed an Applebee's that surprisingly disturbed him. He said he would never want to go an Applebee's. I asked why. He said: "I like apples, but I don't like bees." I couldn't argue with that.

More later. . . .

Fearing the Worst May not be so Bad

Lucy Van Pelt: Are you afraid of responsibility? If you are, then you have hypengyophobia. 
Charlie Brown: I don't think that's quite it. 
Lucy Van Pelt: How about cats? If you're afraid of cats, you have ailurophasia. 
Charlie Brown: Well, sort of, but I'm not sure. 
Lucy Van Pelt: Are you afraid of staircases? If you are, then you have climacaphobia. Maybe you have thalassophobia. This is fear of the ocean, or gephyrobia, which is the fear of crossing bridges. Or maybe you have pantophobia. Do you think you have pantophobia? 
Charlie Brown: What's pantophobia? 
Lucy Van Pelt: The fear of everything. 
Charlie Brown: THAT'S IT! 


I, too, have a fear of everything. I know i've said that before. I'm afraid, however, that you may have forgotten so I need to tell you again. 


My fears lead to worry. I worry about things that may never happen. When I let my dogs outside, I worry that they will get out of the yard and make to main road—where they will be run over. When I babysit for my nieces and nephew, I worry that they will somehow drown in the bath tub—whether or not they are taking bath. Or maybe they will get hit in the head, suffering debilitating brain damage. And then the police will think I did it, and I will be whisked off to jail where I'll have to spend the rest of life for something I didn't do. And my meals will be served to me through a slot in my cell's door. On the bright side, though, I'll probably finally lose weight. And I'll get in great shape in my six-by-six cell because the only thing to do in there to keep myself from going crazy is exercise. 


I worry, too, that sometime, on my way to work, I'll get stuck in a snow storm and have to pull off of the road. But it will snow so much that my car will be covered in a mountain of snow and no one will know that I'm there. A snow plow will ram into my car, pushing me over a cliff. And then I'll never know if my house gets remodeled or not. And no one will care. They will just let it go to ruin. And my dogs will have no place to go.


But if I do make it to work through a snow storm, I worry that I will get stuck at work along with my coworkers. And we'll be stuck for weeks. And pretty soon we'll start to get on each others nerves. There will be someone who thinks he or she is charge and will try to bully the rest of us. Then we'll all have join forces to take this person out. But then the next person who's in charge won't be any better. Some of us will keep journals of our experiences. And rescuers will find them because that will be all that is left of us because the only food we will have is what is in the vending machines and that will run out quickly. I think you get the picture. But maybe they will make a movie about our plight using our journals for inspiration. At least that way, we won't be forgotten.


Most of my fears have no basis. They do, however, come from a very active imagination. And it's the imaginary part of my life that keeps me writing. And keeps me thinking.


One of the reasons I wrote this post was to open this blog to other things besides writing about weight loss. If you have been reading, you know that I said a while ago that I intended to make some changes. I'm also considering a name change or maybe a new blog all together with links to this one. That does not mean I'm giving up hope on losing weight. It just means I need to expand my repertoire. 


So I'll let you know where it goes from here. Talk to you soon. K. 

Getting in the Spirit

I stole this idea from a friend. Enjoy!



Mele Kalikimaka is the thing to say 
On a bright Hawaiian Christmas Day 
That's the island greeting that we send to you 
From the land where palm trees sway 
Here we know that Christmas will be green and bright 
The sun to shine by day and all the stars at night 
Mele Kalikimaka is Hawaii's way 
To say "Merry Christmas to You."

As Free As an Eagle

This morning, for the first time in my life, I saw an American Bald Eagle soaring through the air. Yeah, that's right. In my 52 years, I've never seen one before. And it was too cool. So does this mean I'm on the verge of seeing other things in my life that I've never seen before? Really cool things? Let's hope so. I think so. I feel it. This morning I was really angry that nothing ever goes my way. Then I saw the eagle. And it changed my attitude entirely.

If there is such a thing as reincarnation, I want to come back as an eagle. Imagine soaring through the air. Hanging out on cliffs. Checking out your world. I'd love it.

Anyway, this week has been busy. And I expect it will remain so. But it's all good.

Goals, Prayers, and Promises

OK. OK. I've been gone for awhile. I still have a lot on my plate this week. But nothing like last week. Hmmm. I wonder why I chose to use "a lot on my plate" to explain how busy I am? Anyway, I'm still taking the vitamin D. And I do feel better.

Goals
Today I decided to write down some of my life goals, not just weight loss goals. My ultimate goal is to be retired and loving it. That's far and away number one. OK. So I haven't thought much beyond that. But when I am retired, I intend to do all of things I've always wanted--like have a farm. I know I've talked about that before. So I'm speaking of this goal as "when" not an "if."

Prayers
As far as weight loss, I still can't get myself in the right place to even begin. I'm not sure what it's going to take. I think a positive state of mind for starts.

Promises
Anyway, all I really need is a lot of money. And who doesn't?

So this was quick and sweet. I guess I want my life to be my life. How's that for a goal?

The List

An update to the list my niece came up with:
1. Chicken nuggets
2. Macaroni and cheese
3. Broccoli
4. Yogurt
5. Apples
6. Ketchup

It did, at least, have a couple of healthy items. I was really amazed at the broccoli. I forgot that when she was about three years old, she preferred salad to chicken nuggets. I took her to McDonald's one time, and I got chicken nuggets for her and a salad for me. She refused to eat the nuggets. I asked her what she wanted, and she pointed at my salad. Seriously. That really happened. So I gave it her and she ate it—without dressing. Because that's the way she liked it. Where did this kid come from?

How Would I Know What to Do?

Hey, I'm off this week. I will be taking care of my nephew's kids while he goes hunting with his Dad. This morning as I drove the kids to school his seven-year-old daughter told me: "We need to get some healthy food in this house."

I said: "OK. What do you want me to get?"

She rolled her eyes and said: "I'll make a list. You just go back home and go back to sleep."

I laugh everytime I think of it. Geez. If she weren't here to guide me, how would I know what to do?

I'll try to check in when I can. Have a wonderful holiday week.

We All Have a Choice

Some things in life, you can't help but feel proud of. My beginnings in this world were meager to say the least. But it's part of who I am. I have learned something through every challenge I've faced in life. I am writing this post to make a point to myself, but also to people who think they're stuck with the cards they've dealt. You can always trade at least part of the hand in. But if you do choose to play the hand, remember, you can win a poker game with a deuce high, if you play your cards right. 

I come from a very poor background. I grew up in three-room tar paper shack that didn't have a bathroom. In fact, I lived there until I was 14 years old. We burned coal in the winter to keep warm. I woke up freezing every morning after the fire went out during the night, all the while blowing black coal soot out my nose. I had pneumonia and strep throat more times than I want to remember. I wore hand-me-downs and second-hand clothes and shoes. My mother made most of my dresses. I usually only had two, and if we were "in the money" at a particular time, I might've had three. I was poorer than just poor. Most of time we didn't have any money.

I spent most of life figuring I'd never make it to college. After all, how would it be paid for? Well, I'll tell you how. I took out student loans. I got grants. I worked sometimes up to three part-time jobs while carrying a full-time class load. I worked my way through college. No one, and I mean no one, handed me anything. And I managed to make the dean's list virtually every semester.

After I graduated, I got a job in my chosen field. I do not make treasure chests full of money. In fact, there are times when it's difficult to get by. But I am strong. I will do better than I am now. I know I can because I've done it. I worked my way out of the hollers of West Virginia. I did it on my own. And in the process I learned something about people. Every person on the face of this earth has a story. Neither you nor I are the only ones who've faced challenges.

So here's the thing: I will not under any circumstances feel guilty or apologize to anyone no matter what their personal issues are because I chose to better myself. I deserve what I have, and I deserve the successes I've had in life. And if I choose to improve myself even further, that's what I'm going to do. And I will not be sorry about it—now, tomorrow, or next week. I worked for everything I have.

Like all people, I have suffered great losses and been weighed down by so much grief that I had to drag along with me, I thought death would be better. But I have also felt the love of a child, the warm embrace of a man, and the joy of living. I have known poverty. I have enjoyed prosperity. I am just like everyone else. 

Today I choose happiness and abundance over doom and deficiency because this is a day that the Lord has made. My task is to enjoy it. And you can, too. It's your choice.

P.S. Read about John of God. 

Vitamin D More Important Than I Knew

Who needs vitamin D? If you have struggled with weight loss; have Diabetes, Parkinson's, cancer, including skin, breast, ovarian, prostrate, and numerous others; have psoriasis; have thyroid disease; are depressed or suffer from mental illness; have cataracts or other eye diseases, including macular degeneration; and the list goes on and on—you need probably need vitamin D. In fact, the Vitamin D Council thinks that more than 85 percent of the population is vitamin D deficient. 

According to the council:

"Technically not a 'vitamin,' vitamin D is in a class by itself. Its metabolic product, calcitriol, is actually a secosteroid hormone that is the key that unlocks binding sites on the human genome. The human genome contains more than 2,700 binding sites for calcitriol; those binding sites are near genes involved in virtually every known major disease of humans.

"Current research has implicated vitamin D deficiency as a major factor in the pathology of at least 17 varieties of cancer as well as heart disease, stroke, hypertension, autoimmune diseases, diabetes, depression, chronic pain, osteoarthritis, osteoporosis, muscle weakness, muscle wasting, birth defects, periodontal disease, and more."

The council goes on to say that benefits of vitamin D to our health can no longer be ignored.

For me, vitamin D was the miracle I was looking for. After some research, I decided to take 10,000 IUs per day for four weeks. Then lower it to 5,000 per day. I started this on Monday. I have lost 8 pounds since then. And I swear I can see better. Further, I have what I thought was Meniere's disease—a static sound in my right ear. It's virtually gone. My sense of smell is improved, too. My skin looks and feels better. I have more energy than I've had in years. I feel lighter. 

While many may think my little "experiment" is crazy, the council says it's harder to overdose on vitamin D than we have been lead to believe. Some people may be more sensitive than others, but most people can handle an initial larger dose with no problem. 

Do some research about vitamin D. Many doctor's and health care professionals are becoming aware of how important vitamin D is. While some will continue to hang onto the old philosophy, many are now checking people for vitamin D deficiency. If you think you are deficient, have your doctor check you out. The council, however, recommends starting with a dose 5,000 IUs and then getting checked. 

Check the councils' web site for more information: vitamindcouncil.org. 

Vitamin D

I'm wondering if you or anyone you know may have tried supplementing vitamin D to help with weight loss? This isn't a new idea, and people have supposedly done well increasing their vitamin D—by about 2,000 international units a day.

People who are obese, have thyroid disease (either hyper or hypo), are menopausal, were breast feed as babies, and a couple of other things I probably don't know about tend to be vitamin D deficient. Research has shown that supplementing vitamin D has helped people lose weight—often significant amounts of weight, along with diet and exercise of course. Physicians recommend adding calcium, magnesium, and zinc as well.

So, I'm curious? Has anyone out there tried this? Do you have any results?

Too Much Pressure Leads to Failure; Dreams Exposed

I think I have dieted myself into a place where I can't lose weight anymore. To successfully lose weight, I will have to eat minimally and exercise until sweat drips from me and I collapse. Seriously. Just dieting and walking won't work—unless I'm willing to walk six miles a day. My metabolism is shot. Part of it is thyroid. Part menopause. Part yo-yo dieting for the past 30+ years. What I need is a way to fix myself—no fads or gimmicks please. And most of all—no pressure. As soon as I put pressure on myself, it's over before it starts.

A New Section

Photo by yark64. 

A funny old saying that I always liked is: Opportunity knocks but once, but failure is always pounding away. That makes me laugh. And that brings to me a new section I like to call: Things I've Always Wanted to Do But Couldn't Figure Out How to Make Happen. 

Photo by Salem Elizabeth.

You know what I've always wanted? To be a farmer. You know have some cows and horses to take care of. That would make my life. It just would. Please don't tell me how much work it is to work a farm. I grew up on a farm. I know. OK? I know it means long days filled with lots of work. But it's good work—getting back to the land kind of work. And just take a look at these pictures. I mean really. How could you pass up such a life? Well, everyone has their own wishes and wants. So I can't expect everyone to agree with my dream. But this is my dream. To retire, buy a farm along with some cows and horses, and live the rest of my life in my own bliss. Happiness. That's what it's all about, right?

Happiness. Bliss. Being in the moment. Living in God's world in harmony with nature. That's my dream.

When I look at these pictures, it makes that dream that much more intense.

Anyway, that's what I'm sharing today. And it's kind of uncharacteristic for my put it out there like that. Because this is a real dream. I'm always afraid people will mock me when I'm absolutely honest. No one wants their dreams ridiculed. But I'm opening up a new side of me.


Someone told me, you have to say your dreams out loud for them to come true. So there's my dream. My wish.

More from the deepest recesses of my soul. . . .
Last night I dreamed I was a wedding planner. What? OK. Let's take a look at this from another point of view. What does a wedding planner do? Helps people plan one of the biggest life changing events that will ever come to pass in their lives. A wedding is a joining of two people (or two things, whatever they may be)—a commitment, a bond, a promise.

So what does that mean to me? Planning a life altering event that requires a commitment. Is it just losing weight? Or is it more? I think it's much more.

This Blog
I started this blog in September of 2006. I've had varying degrees of success. Right now I'm considering whether I want to keep this blog up. Or start a new blog that allows me to talk about more than the trials and tribulations of weight loss. Or maybe just change this blog altogether. Change the name. Change the focus. Or keep this blog and start a new one, too. Anyway, that's a struggle.

OK. I've said more today than I've said in a long time.

Still Doing OK

I'm still using Sparkpeople and doing well on the Double Dog Dare diet. I've been doing this diet for going on four days, and I haven't gone over my alloted calories. That's a first for me.

I'm worried about Halloween, however. My nephew is bringing his kids over to go Trick or Treating in my neighborhood.  All of the candy. Ugh. Well, I guess temptation will always be there. So I need to get used to it.

I've been sick for a couple of days now. Big time sinus problems. I'm waiting for my doctor to call something in for me. So this is where I'm signing off for today. Best of luck to everyone. And be a blessing to someone.

Decision to do Double Dog Dare Delightful

 Allan's Double Dog Dare may have been the thing I've needed to get me on track. I consumed 1,443 calories yesterday, and this morning I was .6 pounds lighter. I'm glad I decided to be accountable for what I'm eating. I'm still using Sparkpeople.com. It's really a great site.

Well, I have to make this short. Have a wonderful day.

New Hope

I joined Allan's Double Dog Dare weight loss challenge. For all the details, go to his blog. I think it's a great idea. Having a lot of people to count calories with is somehow comforting. I think I'm going to go to Sparkpeople to keep track of the calories. I get 1584 per day—no cheating. (Allan has a formula so you can figure your calories.)

Yesterday I raked leaves for two hours. As I was raking them, I kept saying, "I'm not going to let this pile of leaves defeat me." The pile was huge—I have a huge poplar tree in my backyard. If I don't keep up with it, the leaves will literally get ankle deep. Anyway I took me two hours to rake them up. I figured out this morning that's about 950 calories.

This morning I walked around the neighborhood for a little more than a mile. Actually walking around the neighborhood gives me better exercise than walking on a treadmill (not that there's anything wrong with walking on a treadmill.) It just that all of the hills and dips force me to move beyond my comfort zone. I'm not sure how I will keep up with exercise. There was a time in my life when I walked every day. I worked out somehow at least five times per week. I'd like to get by without feeling like I have to continue to pay a gym membership when I can do it on my own.

Anyway, I beginning this week with new hope.

I'm Still Here; Just Contemplating Where I'm Going

I know I haven't posted in a while. I do apologize. I'm just trying to get myself together. I'm trying to make some decisions. I did make a few changes. For example, I'm not going to label myself as fat anymore. That just gives me permission to stay fat. And allows me to undo all of the progress I've made.

As for my 60 pounds in 365 days challenge, it's not going well. Last week, it looked like I had lost two more pounds. But now it's all back--that two pounds plus three more. I've never had such a difficult time losing weight. I'm blaming menopause, but I know I could be doing better. That's why the name change and the reevaluation of, well, my life.

So that's why I've been missing in action. I'm doing a lot of soul searching. I'm looking for answers. I'm still trying to follow the law of attraction. I watch Joel Osteen every Sunday morning. I'm trying to figure out why it's easier for me to hold onto the fat than to take a positive approach and let it go.

Also, I was sick last week. I had a virus that lasted most of the week. You'd think I would've lost weight, and I did. Two pounds. But this week I gained it back plus three more pounds. That's because I haven't been exercising. Not once in almost two weeks. Oh I played with the dogs a couple of times. But that's it. I never did work up a sweat.

Well, I'm running short on time. Gotta go to work.

Minute By Minute

Dr. Oz is promoting a Just 10 Pounds Challenge. He proposes that you lose just 10 pounds to receive enormous benefits. This sounds like a program I need right now. Go to his website for more information about it and to get a cool Dr. Oz bracelet.

Thank you for all of your advice. I think setting small goals is something I need to concentrate on. My friend Ann is achieving amazing success using this tactic. She's lost more than 30 pounds thus far making "one decision at a time." I think I will try her strategy. At this point, I will need to concentrate on this type of thinking minute by minute. There is no day to day yet.

Ann asked me what it was that got me started. When I first started, I couldn't even pick up something I'd dropped. If it fell on floor, that's where it was staying. I can now pick up dropped items with relative ease. That's a big motivator. I never want to go back to being what I was. When I started that was an issue. I hated being so unhealthy. I think I may have felt like I was going to die. Fear was what got me started.

OK. So I'm no longer afraid. Now I hate the way I look. But I hate the struggle to lose the weight just as much. It's frustrating. It's defeating. It's like trying to roll a boulder out of a pit, getting it to the top, only to have it roll back into the pit again. I'm at a point where I don't know if I can roll the boulder back up again. There has to be a better way.

I think the one minute at a time solution is the only thing I can do. So here I go again.

The Agony of Defeat

I've been feeling kind of defeated lately. My weight loss isn't going at all like I planned. Menopause is making an already difficult task virtually impossible. But I'm going to steal an idea from a fellow blogger and start setting mini goals rather than big ones that feel overwhelming. So my first mini goal is 10 pounds.

I'm still six pounds down on my 60 pounds in 365 days challenge. But I've been stuck there. And I'm letting the lack of progress defeat me. I have to rise above this. And I will.

Does anyone have any suggestions for losing weight after menopause? I'd love to hear what works for you.

Whadda You Know? It Worked

Yesterday I was queasy all day. Ever since I had the gall bladder removed, I often suffer from a big bile dump directly into my stomach. The bile sits there, making me want to puke. I didn't take the Colonix fiber supplement for a while because I didn't know how I would react to it. Finally, before I went to bed, I decided what the Hell. I'll take it. I wish I had taken it sooner. Within 10 minutes, the bile must've been absorbed, and no more sick feeling. Now, I don't know if this will happen every time. But it's good to know that it might work. I'll have to try it again to see if this really is a remedy that works. I will let you know.

I was running late this morning, but I did get in 35 minutes on an elliptical. The diet is going OK. I'm still careful about the amount of sugar I eat.

Life is crazy.

I Create My Own Future

I've made a pact with myself that I will look at life from a positive point of view. I have the ability to predict the future my own life. I intend to do just that. From here on out, I will be the one who makes decisions about my life. I will not leave it up to fate.

I created a menu plan I can live with. I used foods I know I like. I will stick to this plan everyday. I worked out on an elliptical for 40 minutes this morning. I will work out five days a week.

The Colonix is going OK. I think it will come out OK. Sorry. I couldn't resist.

Somedays I wish I had as much to say as other bloggers seem to. Ahhh. Oh well.

This month marks the fifth anniversary of Al's passing. October 28. The pain is still with me. But I feel more comfortable being alone now.

Take my word for it. Life as you know it can change in a matter of seconds. One minute they're here, the next they're gone. Live life to its fullest. Do the things you want to do now. There may not be a tomorrow—there wasn't one today.

The Benefits of What?

I made it to the gym this morning. I got in 40 minutes on an elliptical. However, I haven't worked out with weights for a while. I want to get back into it. I haven't been getting up in time to do much of anything expect a quick aerobic workout. These dark, cool mornings—I just want to stay in bed.

Well, I'm on day three of the, um, colon flush. As you my recall Dr. Natura sent me a Colonix kit. It's enough to do a 60-day program. Hmmm. I just thought—is someone trying to tell me something? I've never had much of a problem telling people they were full it. Maybe word has gotten out. . .nah. Anyway, it's going OK. The kit contains three supplements:

1. The Intestinal Cleanser, which is a fiber supplement.
2. The Paranil capsules that contain 18 detoxifying herbs to purify the colon and liver.
3. The KleriTea herbal tea for regularity and detoxification.

They say you can take the fiber supplement with just water—and that's what I've been doing—but they also give you option of taking it with juice. I'd opt for the juice if I were you. I chug it quickly—but it doesn't really taste very good. But this isn't a treat—it's a detox system. So what do I expect? 

The capsules are easy enough to take. And the tea really isn't too bad. In fact, it contains chamomile so it makes a nice bed time drink. 

But the real question is: does it work? Well, things do seem to be moving along a little easier. And with my digestive issues, I'm hoping this detox system will help.

I never thought I'd be writing a post about the benefits of pooping. But that's what this system does. So let's not pretend it's for something else. Or call it cute names. Dr. Nautra's website says: The Colonix Program gently but effectively cleanses the colon of toxic waste, detoxifies the liver and restores regularity while helping you to gain more energy and a flatter stomach. OK. We'll see if it does that. So for the next—let's see 60 minus three is 57—57 days, I'll be continuing this program. And reporting in periodically. 

Looks Like I'm Gonna Live

The testing turned out OK. While I have a condition in my esophagus that will never go away, it is not cancer. Years of acid reflux have eroded my esophagus to the point that it will always be damaged, but right now it can be treated with medication and common sense diet choices and drinking lots of water. And  don't have to go back for two years. Thank God for that one. I really hate how much time I've spent at the hospital over the last year. I just want to be well already.

That's my big news for the day.

I Hope This Helps

I did not post last week because I have yet another health issue I've been tending to. I had to have a biopsy of my esophagus. That was about a zero on my fun scale. I still don't know the outcome, but I'm hoping it'll be OK. At least OK enough that I don't have to worry about another surgery until next year.

And this leads me right into things people send me because of this blog. The good folks at Dr Natura sent me a Colonix kit. What's a Colonix kit you may be asking? Well, it's exactly what you think it is. It's an internal cleansing kit. I will be trying this out for two months and reporting on the progress as I go. I started this morning. There is a fiber supplement that you're supposed to mix and drink in the morning. I didn't do that this morning because I have to take so many prescriptions, I don't want them to just flush out without my getting the benefit of them. So I'll have to figure out how to bring it with me, and drink it at work.

Actually, this couldn't have come at a better time. I have so many digestive issues. Maybe this will help. I hope this will help. At any rate, it probably won't hurt.

Tomorrow I go to the doctor, and he will tell me how the test came out. What a great way to spend a birthday.

I managed to workout this morning. Check that out on the Daily Mile.

And I'll let you know how things came out.

In Spite of Myself, I Continue to Succeed

My dear friend Ann said the only time you lose is when you give up. Too true. This time around, I will not give up, in spite of everything. In fact, I think—no, I know—all of the things that go wrong in life are what make you stronger. So I must be Hercules. Or something anyway. Anyway, I am getting stronger everyday.

I worked out this morning. High five to myself on that one.

I started writing this earlier. Then I got sidetracked. Ask anyone who knows me—I'm often easily sidetracked. Today, I'm trying to look at things from a different perspective. Is something really bad if the outcome of facing the bad thing is good? Do we repeat our mistakes until we finally learn whatever lesson it is we're supposed to learn? And then the good can be seen? Or is life a bunch of random hits and near misses? OK. this is getting too deep. Later—

What Is Lucid Dreaming?

What Is Lucid Dreaming?

The Chicken or the Egg? Or the Egg and I—Whichever Works for You

Finally getting back into the game. Yesterday, I got a report from the Daily Mile—zero workouts for last week. That hurt. I don't want to get another failing report card. And with that, I made it back to the gym this morning. 45 minutes on an elliptical. And I felt pretty good. I got some much needed oxygen pumped into my body. It's all up hill from here, right? (That's an exercise joke. Ok, it wasn't that great.)

I'm doing OK on my diet, but couldn't keep up the vegan thing.  I could go without meat. But I couldn't go without milk and cheese. So I broke over some string cheese. And I have frequent insomnia—so warm milk made it's way into my diet. And then there was the grilled chicken salad. OK. I did have some meat after all. But it was grilled.

I know that some people who are vegan do so because of morality about the way animals are treated. And I appreciate that they feel that way. I don't want to see animals harmed in any way. I just can't stop eating them. I wish I could. I grew up on a farm—I've actually seen a chicken running around with it's head cut off. Not something I enjoyed. In fact, I couldn't eat chicken or eggs for years. (Not because I thought they were treated bad. I was just sick of them. I hated them. But more about that later. We had a chicken farm in case you're wondering.)

But other than whacking some of their heads off every once in a while, we treated our chickens well. (But I hated them. I hated feeding them. I hated getting them into roost at night. I hated gathering eggs. Hmm. Maybe that's why I don't mind eating them now. Some kind of payback.) Anyway, they weren't in little cages pooping all over each other. They ran around in a pen. And a fair-sized pen at that.

People bought eggs from us. And sometimes a whole chicken but that was rare. We mostly sold eggs. So that's my vision of a farm. I know not all farms are like that today. But some local farms still exist. And maybe people should buy meat and eggs from local farmers. Anyway, how and why did I get off on this? OK. I forgot to mention the greenhouse-gas thing, too. But I won't go there right now.

Anyway, the point is: I can't stop eating meat. I've tried. I wish I could. I can go long periods without eating meat. But it always finds its way back into my diet. And I just can't believe that I'm a horrible person because I eat meat. I don't think the meat industry brainwashed me either. I was eating meat long before it became a big deal. Here's another thing: People eat meat. How can you stop an entire planet? Isn't there some other way than all or nothing? I don't know. What do you think? I really got sidetracked, huh?

Under the Weather

I haven't been around this week because I'm sick—again. It's now settled in my chest. Needless to say, I haven't been exercising. On the bright side, though, I have no appetite. However, none of this means I'm giving up. I'm down six pounds now, and I want to keep it going down—the weight I mean. 

So I'm hopped up on cold medicine. And concentrating is an issue. This post will be short. In fact, this is where it ends. 

See you next time, and be a blessing to someone today. 

And the Winner Is. . .

Congratulations to Tricia! You won the $60 CSN Stores gift certificate. I will email you a little later to let you know what to do.

No Apologies. No Excuses.

Well, I weighed in this morning, and I am up a pound. OK, OK. What went wrong? Well, on Wednesday ate pizza for lunch—not one slice but two. I ate it even though I remembered the Weight Watchers advice I'd heard when I was doing that program to lose weight—you know what you eat can show up 48 hours later. And I ate it anyway. I could hear Dr. Oz's voice telling me about all of the fat, salt, and bad carbs, and I ate it anyway. So, as my newest hero Julia Child would say, "No apologies. No excuses." It is what it is. A mistake.

So what can I do different this coming week? Drink the water I should drinking. Exercise like I'm supposed to be doing. And cut out the pizza—at least pizza covered in sausage and cheese. BTW: I'm not the only one who had a run-in with pizza last week. Ann has an all too funny story to share. You gotta wonder, though, when things like this happen is it a sign? You decide.

As for what I did in the dietary department the rest of the week, it wasn't too bad—although I could've done much better. I've been keeping a diet journal—at least part of the time. So something else I could change is to keep it all of the time. Why is this a struggle? I'm lazy.

But this is not defeat. It's a wake up call. One success: I did exercise four days this past week for a total of 12 miles (117 miles since I started).

One last thing: There's still time to enter the CSN Stores giveaway. It ends September 8. That's all for now.

What does it take to motivate you?

Welcome to September. My birthday month.

This morning I had a hard time getting out of bed, but then I remembered Ann and our weight loss challenge. How could I just lay here while she was losing weight? Didn't seem right. Anyway, it motivated me to get up and get to the gym.

Speaking of motivation, there's a blog titled Nu(de) Motivation.  According to this blog, five successful, beautiful, intelligent women volunteered to find their way back health by using the idea that they would eventually be photographed in the nude as motivation. OK. Here's the thing with this for me: If someone wanted me to lose weight so I could be photographed in nude, I don't think it would motivate me. I think I would probably purposefully retain my weight to ensure that never happened. But, if that works for you, then by all means go ahead.

Anyway, my point of discussing the nude challenge and my weight loss challenge with my friend is to find out what other people use to motivate themselves. And so with that I ask you: What motivates you?

Life Is for Living

Fear. That one little word has kept me from meeting goals, finding happiness, and living life the way I want to live it. Even when I think I'm winning, fear chases me down and allows all of the self doubt to creep into my life. And then I think I can't do it. I'm a fake. Everyone will know that I don't belong in the winner's circle.


Over the past several months, I've been trying to overcome fear. I've had some success. And now is a time when I have to be careful. It's when I'm truly successful that fear takes over. It wants me to be that cowering child who was too shy to take up for herself and allowed others to tell her she had no value.


But that's not who I am any more. I've sought out strong women to hold up as examples to myself of who I can be. Lately, I have come to have a great admiration for Julia Child. Here was a woman who—despite her fear—created a life that brought her true joy. That's a key, too, isn't it? She created her life. She didn't sit around and wait for the right time. She created the right time. And so that's what I what intend to do. Create my own life.


No more waiting for someday because someday is today. And I know that God is going to bless me as He will bless my family and friends. So here's to a new day. Enjoy!


P.S. This is my horoscope today form Jonathan Cainer's site:


Libra
How important are you? What right do you have to expect better treatment? Ought you not to sit back and let others enjoy all that's good about the world while you put up with what's second best but readily available at a price you feel you can just about afford? Actually, you count for far more than you know. Even if you can't have all the treasures you might wish for, you are certainly entitled to the most important luxury of all: the sheer unmitigated pleasure of peace of mind. Events today should help you find it!

The Faith to Move Forward

"Progress lies not in enhancing what is, but in advancing toward what will be."

“Faith is a knowledge within the heart, beyond the reach of proof.”

Both of these quotes come from Kahil Gibran, a philosopher who was apparently frequently quoted.. And they seem perfect for me--advancing toward my goals with the faith that I will get there. And I will.

This weekend went OK. I had a tetanus shot on Friday that wiped me out. My arm is still sore, and I still feel like I'm just toasted. All of that from a little shot. It just a booster--nothing happened to warrant it. But I thought it would be a good idea to get one since my doc was pushing it. My insurance company must be paying for it. Otherwise, why would they care?

So today, I'm a little under the weather. Haven't done much. Probably won't do much.

Weight Loss Challenge Is What I Needed

In this first week of my challenge, I've lost three pounds. And that's OK. Ann and I decided to do this challenge, and I was confused that we were already supposed to be doing it—and I didn't really get started until Monday. But I know better now. Ann has been doing very well in the challenge. I am proud of her yet envious.

I read her post yesterday, and it gave me the motivation I needed to pass by some goodies. Stress from a downsizing at work along with other stuff has me eating all the wrong things and way too much of them. I wasn't downsized this time, but many of my friends were. My heart aches for them. Even though they won't be without a job—they were moved to other University departments—it's still traumatic. It's like being dumped by a boyfriend who thinks you should just be OK with it. Anyway, that's all I'll say here.

Anyway, I was saying that Ann's post gave the motivation I needed to pass by some junk. And when I found out we already supposed to be doing the challenge, it gave me the motivation to get up to go exercise five days this week. That's 15 miles and about seven hours.

i've been logging my exercise everyday on the Daily Mile. And it all looks good, right now.

Even though I've made a real effort in the past few months to be positive, sometimes it's hard. So excuse me for not being more positive. Anyway, that about covers it for today.

CSN Stores $60 Gift Certificate Giveaway

CSN Stores has offered a $60 gift certificate for me to giveaway. How about that? They really have a lot of cool stuff. You can use it to buy cookware, maybe even a Dutch Oven.  But there's lots of cool stuff to choose from. I personally thought the cookware would be cool because cooking while trying to eat right is so important. Having the right kinds of kitchen tools really helps.

So here's how the giveaway works. Got to CSN Stores website and then come back to leave a comment about what you thought about it. It's that simple. If you'd like to get optional additional entries, here are a couple more ways:

1. Become a follower of this blog and leave a comment letting me know that you did.
2. Post the giveaway on your blog and leave a comment here.
3. Visit CSN Stores blog for more contests and savings and leave a comment here.

I need a clear way to contact you should you win. So please provide an email or direct link to your blog, where there's a clear way to get in touch with you.

This giveaway expires at midnight on September 8, 2010.

I'm still looking for the winner of my last giveaway. If Wendy does not come forward within the 24 hours, I will redraw a new winner.

So folks, best of luck to you all.

Personal Challenge; $60 Gift Certificate

So here's the deal: I overeat all of the time. I'm exercising a lot. But I'm still eating too much for it to make a difference. I'm going to set up a challenge for myself—60 pounds in 365 days. Stay tuned for more about that.

Tomorrow I will announcing another giveaway. This time it's a $60 gift certificate from CSN Stores. Stay tuned for that. They have a large selection of great items—so this is really a cool prize.

Sorry this is so harried, but that's how it goes sometimes.

Wendy? Are you there?

Once again, calling Wendy. Please contact me ASAP.

Wendy Wins

Congratulations to Wendy the winner of the food journal. Wendy please get in touch with me. I couldn't find an email address for you.

More announcements and blogging later. . . .

Guest Post: Zenzation Athletics Pro Series Pilates Ring 12"

This guest post is by Ann, the winner of the Pilates Ring in  a recent giveaway I hosted. The giveaway was sponsored by America's Nutrition. 

I have to first confess, I am no exerciser.  I excel at couch-potato.   However, there comes a time, even in couch-potato-land, when one recognizes the wisdom and need to exercise.

I'd heard of Pilates, but had no personal exposure to it, except for the occasional mention on television.  I often wondered how those tiny movements could possibly be a "workout," but that was as far as my thoughts on Pilates ever went.

Then, Kathy (upon whose blog I am guest-writing today) had a contest to win a Pilates Ring.  I figured, if I won, it was a "sign" to get serious about exercising. 

God must have a sense of humor.

So, upon return from vacation, I found a neatly wrapped package waiting for me. 

As exercise equipment goes, it is amazingly and blissfully compact.  I can, almost literally, take it anywhere and store it anywhere.  

Well, I'm a whiny non-exerciser, who looks for reasons not to like exercise-related anything.  I need to justify and rationalize not using it, you see.  This compact ring makes some of my excuses go away - it is really convenient, and has the added benefit of not being able to be used as a clothes hanger.  Shoot.

The ring has two foam-covered hard handles on opposite ends.  I admit, the shape (for me) didn't seem the best ergonomically designed thing, but as I have used it, I've come to appreciate the designers knew exactly what they were doing. 

The handles aren't just for hands.  The ring can be used between knees and ankles, and tummy too.  And the handle shape comfortably allows for this.    So, as a piece of exercise equipment, I can't fault its design at all.

It is sturdy, durable, compact and convenient.  A non-exerciser's worst nightmare.

I was initially disappointed in the instruction sheet that was included.  It is a folded sheet of paper, outlining six different position workouts.  I thought, "where is the instruction on how to actually 'do' those little tight Pilates movements?"  The six exercises give you proper positioning for a workout, but never mention anything about the mechanics of the proper movement, except to say things like "... squeeze the ring together ..." 

Ah-ha!  I may have found my "out" for exercising with this thing.

Boy, was I wrong!  The ring takes care of the mechanics for you!  You don't have a choice, using the ring, BUT to do the proper little tight Pilates movements.  How about that?  I became an instant pro at Pilates! 

So, what about those short, tight Pilates movements?  Could they possibly be a "workout?" 

Let me tell you, Pilates is popular for a reason.  YES, it is a workout! 

And boy, do I feel it afterwards.  I've been using the Pilates Ring (12") with my upper body so far, and am already seeing some results.  I can't use it two days in a row (yet), because it IS quite a workout for the arms, and I feel it the next day. 

The best part?  I can even do this from the couch, while watching TV.  Is this not a couch-potato's dream?!! 

Maybe I should say "former" couch-potato, because I actual enjoy using this.  And isn't that half the battle for us non-exercisers?  The Pilates Ring IS work, but it isn't difficult to get the proper movements necessary to see results.  And results are the big reward! 

There are instructions for the lower body, and other upper body workouts, which require getting on the floor.  I haven't done those yet - but I will.  No, literally, I WILL ... and that is the best endorsement and positive review any exercise equipment can have.  It is efficient, easy to use, and effective.

I hate to say this, Kathy, but I think your giveaway made an exerciser out of me.  I was clumsy and admittedly pretty lame when I first started using the Ring, but I'm improving with each workout.  My muscles don't have a clue what hit them.

Thank you, again, for hosting that giveaway! 

Ann

Food Journal Giveaway

What a great to start a Monday. I'm announcing a giveaway. This food journal includes weight loss tips, and it has another little journal that comes with it—it's small journal intended for people to carry more easily. It's about the size of one of those little horoscope pocketbooks you get at the checkout counter.

So for this giveaway, all you have to do comment on why you think a food journal would benefit you—just a sentence or two will do. For example, "A food journal will really help me on my weight loss journey because it will keep me honest." Anyway, you get the idea. I will post the best comments on my blog.

I stole this idea from Susan. Here blog is Let's Lose Weight This Year. I also stole her journal—well, not literally. I chose one like the one that she uses. This journal came from Books-A-Million. It retails for $14.95.

I've found that writing down everything you eat really makes you more accountable. Although somedays I'm better at it than other days, I think it's helped me eat far less than I typically would. So good luck. I'm looking forward to reading your comments.

P.S. The giveaway ends on Saturday, August 21, 2010, at midnight. Winner announced on Monday, August 23, 2010.

Waiting for the Dust to Settle

I'm going to announce the giveaway of a food journal next week. Sorry for the delay. Life has been, well, hectic. In fact, this week has bordered on bizarre. I hope the dust settles soon.

Check out my newsletter link in the sidebar under my friends.

Holding Back

Some days I'd just like to grab a beer, scream, "I'm outta here," and head for the nearest emergency exit. But that doesn't always work out either.

I made it to the gym today. Yesterday was a total bust. I'm not sure what's holding me back. Seems like I always hold back. I have a meeting this morning. Actually I'm going to a CPR class.  I'll let you know how that goes.

You Don't Have to be Fat to be a Health Risk

A new study reported on MSN, says that belly fat is more dangerous for older adults. "Four extra inches around the waist increased the risk of dying from between 15 percent to 25 percent. Oddly, the strongest link — 25 percent — was in women with normal BMI." So that means you don't actually have to be fat to be at risk for heart disease and stroke. 


"Some older adults gain belly fat while they lose muscle mass," said lead author Eric Jacobs of the American Cancer Society, which funded the study, "so while they may not be getting heavier, they're changing shape — and that's taking a toll."


What's recommended? Healthy diet and exercise, what else?

McNugget Crazy

A Toledo, Ohio, woman became enraged over chicken nuggets at a local McDonald's. She wanted the mcnuggets even though the store was still serving breakfast. Wow. Were they really going to jail for?

Virus Gone

Thanks to my brother, my computer has been fixed.

Bad Computer Virus

My computer at home has a nasty virus. So any posts I make this week will be from work.

I did make it top the gym this morning. I'm still using the food journal. And things are going well. Sorry I have to keep this short.

Snakes in the Grass

Last night I had a bizarre dream—like all dreams aren't bizarre. Anyway, I was trying to walk through my front yard, but there were snakes everywhere—usually hidden in the grass but some were closer to the top and could be easily seen. Most of them weren't poisonous, but a few might have been. I wasn't sure. Most of the snakes didn't seem to realize I was even there. But I wasn't going to make a lot of noise to alert them.

I walked through most of them unscathed, but at one point, one particular snake sprang toward me and tried to bite me. But I, being scared out of my wits the adversary that I am, was able to barely deftly avoid his bite. He slithered on by, and I felt relieved victorious.  I woke up shortly after that encounter thinking, "Thank God, it was a dream."

So what does my "snakes in the grass" dream mean? I have a few ideas, but I need to think about it. I avoided them. But they are there—lying in wait.

I worked out this morning, despite the humidity. I'm still keeping the food journal. So all is well as of this writing. 

America Is Still too Fat

First of all, I worked out this morning and the air was so heavy, I didn't think I was going to be able to finish. It was hard to breathe. According to MSN weather, the humidity is 88%. OK. But I did it. Not as fast as usual. But I did it nonetheless.

Tracking my eating in the food journal is really helping—even though I wasn't so good about it yesterday. As soon as I have a photo of the food journal I intend to giveaway, I'll post it and you can enter my giveaway if you so wish.

Today I saw that the CDC released a report that said obesity is serious public health in the U.S. Why does it take a government report to point that out? Anyway, CDC says that Americans live in a society that promotes obesity—fast food, no exercise, and environmental factors that influence hormonal changes. (I don't know if CDC said anything about the environmental influences; I just put that in there in myself.) Anyway, without adding my opinion any further, for the most part we Americans like to eat—a lot—and we'd rather play video games or watch TV than go outside to walk, ride a bike, run, or anything that requires the use of muscles.

CDC promotes the calories in/calories out weight loss method. Some people believe they can lose weight without counting calories and count carbs instead. Either way, I think it works.

Most people, I believe, know what they need to do to lose weight. It's just doing it that's the hard part.

Well, I think that's it for now.

Just Another Monday

Most of you probably noticed that I track my exercise using a program called the Daily Mile. It's a neat little program that allows you to see how much energy you've burned. I have burned enough to power nearly 400 TVs. Yet, I've only burned up about 38 donuts. That my friends is incredible. Think about it. 400 TVs vs. 38 donuts. Why not 400 donuts, too? Wow. So that's why eating 5 Big Macs a week isn't good for you. Actually, I knew that it takes a lot of work to burn up a little bit. But when you see it in real terms, it makes really clear.

I didn't do much over the weekend. I watched some strange movies on the Lifetime Network. One called "The Other Woman" was really over the top. And then there was one about a woman who married a software mogul. That was even weirder. Who thinks this stuff up? Yet I watched them.

New Giveaway Coming Soon
I'm beginning to use a food journal today. Later this week, I'm planning to giveaway a journal I bought for just such an occasion. So keep an eye out of that.

That's about it for today.

And the Winner Is. . .

And the winner of the Pilates ring is. . . Ann . Congratulations. I will be having another giveaway soon. This time I'm giving away a food journal. Watch for it. Ann please send me your contact information so I can mail the Pilates Ring to you ASAP.

Today Is the Final Day

Today is the final to enter this giveaway. The winner will be announced tomorrow. Thanks for entering and for your support.

America's Nutrition sent me two Pilates rings—one for me and one to giveaway. Pilates rings are great resistance training tools. The one I'm giving away comes with a workout chart. I love these things. If you would like a chance to win this terrific prize here's how you can get three entries:

1. Become a follower of this blog and leave a comment that you did.

2. Go to America's Nutrition's site look around for at least five minutes and then come back and leave a comment about what you thought.

3. Leave a comment explaining why you'd like to win this prize.

Do any one or all three—but at least one comment will be required for entry. Thanks.

This giveaway will run from July 26 through July 30. The winner will be announced on Saturday, July 31. The winner will be determined in a random drawing.

I'm looking forward to your entries. I will include a link to this giveaway daily through Friday. Good luck!