In Search of God

As I go through life trying to figure myself out—and why I can't seem to let go of my food addictions—I decided this would be a good time to get more spiritual. So I'm looking for God in my life. It's always seemed to me that I could find God in other people's lives, but never my own. I figured God forgot about me. Then I read some of the Bible. And from what it says, it seems that I would be exactly the kind of person Jesus would want to hang around with—you know, someone who isn't sure that God even knows she exists.

Jesus seems like a really good guy. And I think His message has been garbled over time. I'd like to get to His real message to help in my own struggles. You know, God loves everybody not just a few. 

There in lies the rub. . . .

So where does that leave me in my search? Still confused. I know my life is fortunate. I could be living in complete poverty. But I have a house, and I'm warm. I have plenty of food to eat—too much food, in fact. That's been a problem, huh? Most days, though, I'm still lost.

I decided that I have to make this search for God the last one I'll go through. What I've realized is that I've been looking for God my entire life. And I have some questions:

• Do I believe in God? Yes. I believe God exists.
• Do I know how to find God? No. 
• Is God the Christian God? Or is God a God for all people? I think He would be there everybody. Don't you?
• Does God really hear prayers? Does God really answer prayers? I don't know.
• How do you let go and give your life to God? I don't know. 

So I'm struggling with the answers. If you have ever had an experience that you can honestly say had to be the hand of God, how did that make you feel? Was it an epiphany? Or was it a seemingly everyday event that only after it happened made you think it had to be God's work? Please tell me. I want to know. I want to know God. And I want to know how to bring Him into my life. 

Here are a few more questions: Why is going to church important? Is this a requirement of God's or Man's? Doesn't the Bible say where two or more gather in my name, it's a church. If that's true, then why is a formal church required? Is there something in the scriptures that explains this? If so, where? Chapter and verse? 

Anyway, along with my struggle to overcome food addictions, I'm searching for a higher power. I want to use God, counseling, and anything else that might help. i want the rest of my life to be the best it can possibly be. Thanks for listening—or reading as the case may be.